


You and Me

by RemyJane



Series: The Best by Far is You [6]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: 2021-2022 Season, Canon-Typical Violence, Caps Family, Coming Out, Hanna Backstrom, Homophobia, M/M, Team as Family, Wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-12 16:33:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 35,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15999095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RemyJane/pseuds/RemyJane
Summary: There were a few ideas tossed around about how they should come out. There was the suggestion that they wait until they retire, of course. Alex didn’t want to wait anymore. Alex suggested he kiss Nicky on the ice- Nicky quickly vetoed that. Nicky’s idea was to have the team put out a written statement. The PR team had laughed.“Yeah, no, it’s going to have to be a bit more than that.” They’d told him, chuckling nervously as he stared at them with blank eyes.———Alex and Nicky come out and get married.





	You and Me

2021-2022

 

There were a few ideas tossed around about how they should come out. There was the suggestion that they wait until they retire, of course. Alex didn’t want to wait anymore. Alex suggested he kiss Nicky on the ice- Nicky quickly vetoed that. Nicky’s idea was to have the team put out a written statement. The PR team had laughed. 

“Yeah, no, it’s going to have to be a bit more than that.” They’d told him, chuckling nervously as he stared at them with blank eyes. 

“Maybe we should wait until we retire.” Nicky said as they got into the car, after no decisions had been reached. 

Alex looked at him. “You want that?”

Nicky sighed. “No...I don’t know.” He rubbed his eyes. “If we wait too long, Hanna’s going to out us on accident.” 

Hanna was in preschool; she’d drawn a picture of her family, which had included Nicky, Alex, Alex’s parents, the entire Oshie family, and half the team. A copy of the picture was hanging in the locker room, the original on Nicky and Alex’s fridge. Alex wanted to frame it. 

Alex chuckled. “True.” 

“I don’t want to teach her not to talk about you.” Nicky said quietly. “She loves you, you’re important to her. She shouldn’t have to hide that.” He fidgeted with his sleeves. 

“I know. We’ll think of something.” Alex promised. 

The first step, they decided, was telling Hanna. She was full of energy when they picked her up from preschool, talking rapidly as she showed Alex her hand-print art. “This is nice.” He said, smiling at them. “Look at this, do you have six fingers?” He teased, pointing to a print on the page. 

Hanna giggled. “You’re silly. No one has six fingers.” 

“I thought you had ten.” Nicky said, smiling to himself when Hanna groaned. 

“Papa…” she shook her head. “I mean on one hand.”

“Some people have six fingers on one hand.” Nicky said, as he fastened her car seat straps. 

“Really? Why?” 

Nicky shrugged. “I don’t know.” He admitted. “They just do.” 

“Maybe for playing piano.” Alex joked. 

Hanna looked thoughtful. “Or for doing math. So they can count more.” 

Nicky kissed her forehead. “Maybe. Hands in.” Hanna obediently put her hands on her head while Nicky closed the door. 

“Maybe for tickling more.” Alex said, tickling Hanna behind her knee. She giggled and pulled away. 

At home, Nicky sat Hanna down at the kitchen table. “We have something to tell you.” He explained. 

“Are we getting a kitten?” She asked, eyes wide and hopeful. 

“Are we-? No, no kittens.” Nicky smiled. He sat down beside her, sliding her picture of her family in front of her. “Do you remember this picture?”

“Uh huh.” She nodded. “That’s you, and that’s me, and that’s Sasha, and that’s Babu-“

“It’s your family.” Nicky agreed; it would take too long to listen to her list everyone. “Do you know what it means to be married?”

Hanna wrinkled her nose. “That’s when you kiss in front of everybody?” 

Nicky chuckled. “Something like that.” He glanced at Alex, who smiled encouragingly. “Getting married means...you want everyone to know how much you love someone. And you want to be with them all the time.” 

Hanna nodded. “Ok.” She kicked her feet restlessly. “And kissing?”

“Lots of kissing.” Alex said with a laugh. 

Nicky was pink in the face. “When you were really little, I asked Sasha to marry me. And we decided we want to get married now.” He explained. 

“Oh. Ok.” She nodded. “So?” 

“Gonna tell everyone.” Alex added. 

“They don’t know?” She asked, raising her eyebrows. 

Nicky cleared his throat. “We haven’t told a lot of people yet.” He glanced at Alex. “Some people...some people don’t like that we want to get married.” 

“Like who? Like...Maymay?” She guessed. Alex snorted. 

“No, Maymay is very excited.” Alex sat down beside Nicky, squeezing his hand. “People who don’t know us. Some people think it’s bad for two boys or two girls to get married.” 

“That’s silly.” Hanna said.

“People are silly.” Nicky said dryly. “But they still don’t like it.” 

“Jakob and Ryan got married on the playground.” Hanna told them. “Everybody went. It was at the slide.” 

“Oh, really?” Nicky grinned, relaxing back in his seat. 

“Uh huh.” She looked pensive for a moment. “Will you be my daddy then, or still Sasha?” She asked, her eyes intelligent as they studied him. 

Alex felt caught off-guard. “I can...I can still be Sasha, if you want.” He said. Nicky’s hand was so tight Alex’s fingers were going numb. 

“But I can call you Daddy?” She asked again. “I could have a papa and a daddy?” 

“Yeah.” Alex’s throat felt tight, his eyes a bit wet. He took a deep breath, suddenly having to hold himself together. 

“Ok. I like that.” She looked at Nicky. “Can I go swing?” 

“Yeah.” Nicky nodded, waiting until the back door closed to slump against Alex’s side. Neither of them spoke for a long while, until Alex kissed the top of Nicky’s head and pulled him even closer. 

“She understands, I think.” 

Nicky nodded, turning to hide his face against Alex’s chest. “We had to explain homophobia to a four year old.” He said, his voice a little shaky. 

Alex kissed him again. “On plus side, she thinks it’s silly.” He teased, combing his fingers through Nicky’s hair. 

“True.” Nicky looked up at Alex. “You don’t have to be her dad if you don’t want.” He said. “I can tell her.” Alex appreciated that Nicky was offering him an out, but he didn’t need it. He’d loved Hanna since the day she was born and nothing was going to change that. 

“No, I like it.” He nodded. 

Nicky took a deep breath. “Now, we have to tell everyone else.” 

“Before the four year old does.” Alex added. 

After dinner, Alex posted a picture on Twitter with a rainbow emoji and a heart, along with the words ‘Getting married’. It was a selfie, Nicky, Hanna, and Alex snuggled up on the couch. Alex was kissing Nicky’s cheek, Nicky was laughing, and the whole picture was a bit lopsided because Hanna had been the one holding the phone. 

He posted it and texted his parents to warn them, before turning off his phone for the night and squeezing into Hanna’s bed with her and Nicky. 

Hanna had a set of glow in the dark books that they were reading by flashlight. The flashlight was also useful for making shadow puppets and for looking for monsters under the bed. 

“No monsters here.” Alex declared. “But lots of lonely socks. Look.” He dropped a few unmatched socks on her bed. Hanna giggled, but caught his hand before he could leave. 

“Can you check the closet too?” She asked, quiet and serious. 

Alex dutifully checked and tucked her in to bed. He and Nicky kissed her on the forehead before turning on her nightlight and closing the door behind them as they stepped out of the room. 

“Did you post it?” Nicky asked quietly, like if they talked too loudly something would go wrong. 

“Yup.” Alex nodded. 

“Good.” Nicky nodded. “Good.” He looked- beyond nervous. Nicky was loath to be vulnerable, reluctant to let new people in. Alex knew that’s how he saw coming out, as letting people into his personal life, into things that they kept between them for so long. 

“Gonna be ok.” Alex rubbed a hand up and down his arm. 

“I think I need a drink.” Nicky said, forehead against Alex’s shoulder. “Or ten.” 

“Yeah, ok.” 

There was wine. They were opening the second bottle when footsteps on the stairs made them pause. 

“Papa?” Hanna asked, voice watery and unsteady. She had a blanket trailing behind her. 

“Yeah?” Nicky set down his glass. “What’s wrong?” 

Her bottom lip trembled. “If you get married, will you get de-forced too?” 

Nicky picked her up, wrapping her blanket around her and smoothing her hair. “Will we get what?”

“De-forced.” She repeated. 

Nicky shook his head. “No. Where did you hear that?” 

“At school.” Hanna wiped her eyes. “Ellie said her mommy and daddy are getting de-forced and they yell a lot and they had to move. And I don’t wanna move.” She hid her face, shoulders shaking as she cried. 

Nicky rocked side to side, rubbing her back. “Oh, no, that won’t happen.” He promised. “It’s ok. It’s ok. We want to get married so we can be together more.” 

“Sasha can come to Sweden?” Hanna said. 

“Or we can go somewhere together.” Nicky said, ignoring her question. “We want our friends to know how much we love each other.” 

“Promise?” Hanna asked. 

“I promise.” Nicky said softly, kissing her again. 

“Are people gonna say mean things?” She asked. Nicky sat down on the couch, settling in for a longer talk. 

“Maybe.” He admitted. “If they do, it won’t change anything.” 

Hanna was quiet for a moment. “What about Farmor and Farfar?” She asked, bringing up Nicky’s parents. Alex considered loaning Hanna out to the CIA for interrogations; she was far more perceptive at four than Alex had been. 

“They...they should be happy.” Nicky fudged. 

“Will they come? Or only on the phone?” 

“They’ll come.” Nicky nodded, his face and voice carefully devoid of emotion for a moment. 

“Everybody come.” Alex said, providing a distraction. “Big party. Lots of cake and dancing.” 

“And ice cream?” Hanna lifted her head, looking optimistic. 

“Lots of ice cream.” Alex agreed. “What flavors you want?” 

“Hmmm...chocolate! And...vanilla. And...the one with cookie dough?” Hanna looked up. 

Alex grinned at Nicky, winking. “What about mint?”

Hanna’s whole face screwed up into a grimace. “Ach, no. No one likes mint.” 

Nicky laughed. “Ok. It’s too late to talk about ice cream. Can you go back to bed?” 

Hanna looked between them. “Can Sasha tuck me in?” 

“I can do that.” Alex picked her up, giving her kisses. “Gonna tuck you in so tight you can’t wiggle toes!” 

She laughed at that. “No, that’s too tight. Only a little tucked.” She told him. 

Upstairs, she looked at him. “I can call you daddy now?” She asked, holding onto his hand. “Or do I have to wait for the wedding?” 

Alex sat on the edge of her bed. “You can call me whatever you want.”

Her eyes lit up with mischief. “Can I call you stinky-head?” She asked, laughing at her own joke. 

Alex laughed, shaking his head. “Only if I call you that too.” 

“Hey...that’s no fair.” Her eyes were growing heavy. 

“Sounds fair, stinky-head.” He teased, kissing her forehead. 

She giggled. “Sasha, no…” she blinked thickly at him. 

“Good night.” He told her. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” She said, eyes closing all the way. Alex lingered for a minute before heading back downstairs. 

Nicky had drained his glass and poured a new one. He looked up at Alex. “You really posted it?” 

Alex nodded. “Yup. Too late to change mind now. You’re stuck with me.” He said, slinging an arm around his shoulders. 

Nicky laughed weakly. “I’m so nervous.” He admitted. “What if...should I keep Hanna home tomorrow?” 

Alex shrugged. “She likes school. Has to go back sometime. And...this is good. Don’t have to hide anymore, right? That’s the point.” 

“Right. You’re right.” Nicky took a big gulp from his glass. 

“Gonna be ok.” Alex said. “Family knows, team knows; that’s what matters.” 

“I know. You’re right.” 

Alex squeezed his hand and then held it up to inspect it. “You’re shaking.” 

Nicky withdrew his hand quickly. “Just nervous. Aren’t you?” 

And of course Alex was, but it was easy to ignore when he had Nicky right beside him, when his hand was still warm from Hanna grabbing and holding it. “Nope.” He lied. “I’m ok.” 

Nicky nodded, leaning back against the cushions and breathing deliberately. His face had lost its wine flush and his hand felt clammy. 

“Nicky?” Alex asked. 

“What if...what if people say things to Hanna?”

“All her friends are four.” Alex reminded him gently. 

“Their parents aren’t.” Nicky took a shaky breath. “Should we have waited? Or maybe we should’ve done this when she was too little to remember? What if-“ 

“It’s gonna be ok.” Alex said, setting aside their glasses and hugging Nicky properly. Nicky was trembling, an unfortunate reaction to stress, wine, and sleep deprivation. “Nicky, it’s ok.” He murmured. 

“My parents...I know they think I shouldn’t come out til I retire.” 

“Who cares?” Alex asked. “Not their choice. Didn’t do this for them.”

“You’re right. I know, you’re right. I just...fuck, I’m shaking.” Nicky laughed nervously. “How are you not nervous?”

Alex felt bad for him, the way Nicky internalized his worry until it manifested in physical symptoms. He felt bad, but he thought it was telling that Nicky hadn’t considered the ramifications for them on the ice, only that Hanna might face discrimination. It made him love him all the more. He kissed his forehead. “I worry, but we do this and it’s done. Everyone knows now and the world didn’t end.” 

“I know. I’m sorry. Shit.” Nicky scrubbed at his face. Alex carded his fingers through his hair, over and over until the tremors started to diminish. “Are you...are you still going to be able to play for Russia?” 

Alex shrugged. “Probably not.” He admitted, rubbing Nicky’s back when he drew a sharp breath. “I’m 36, can’t play forever. Too old anyway.” He forced a laugh. 

“I’m sorry.” Nicky whispered. 

“Not your fault. Rather marry you than play.” He assured him. He meant it, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t hard to think about. He wouldn’t be able to play for his country; he was lucky he could still go home. 

“I don’t know if I can sleep.” Nicky admitted. 

“You better.” Alex told him, poking his side. “Have to practice with all the boys tomorrow.” Camp was over and regular practices were starting, the season opened in three days. 

Nicky groaned and took a gulp of wine. “I know.” 

Alex took the glass from his hand and carried the bottle and glasses back to the kitchen. He returned with two large glasses of water and two PB&J sandwiches. 

“Di’dyou cut the crust off?” Nicky asked, eyes watery as he laughed. 

“No, crust is the best part.” Alex set the plate down in front of him. “Eat. Don’t want to be hungover tomorrow.” 

In the morning, Alex woke up a bit when Hanna crawled into bed between them. He smiled sleepily at her and Nicky hugged her close, barely waking. 

Alex managed to drift off for a while, until he woke up to Hanna poking his arm. “Sasha?” She whispered. 

“Yeah?” He propped his head up to look at her. 

“I’m stuck.” She squirmed and Nicky tightened his hold on her. “An’ I want cereal.” Alex grinned. 

“Hard to wake papa up in the morning.” He commiserated. 

“He’s like a bear.” She tried wiggling again, making an exaggerated sound when Nicky squeezed her. Alex could see Nicky smiling behind her, eyes still closed as he feigned sleep. 

“You think he’s mean like a bear?” He asked. 

Hanna looked scandalized. “Bears aren’t mean, they’re fuzzy.” She said, as though that should be obvious. “But they sleep so much. Like papa.”

“Papa’s not fuzzy.” 

“His hair is.”

“Your hair’s fuzzy.” Nicky said, tickling Hanna. 

“Ah! Papa! No!” She laughed, trying to pull away. He let her go and she scampered to the foot of the bed. “C’mon, I have to go to school.”

Nicky looked between Alex and his daughter. “How are you such a morning person?”

“Papa…” she whined. “C’mon.” 

“Ok, I’m up.” He said, closing his eyes again. 

Hanna giggled. “No you’re not. You’re still being a bear.” She pushed at him and pulled the covers down. 

Begrudgingly, Nicky got up and followed Hanna downstairs, going straight to the coffee pot and starting it. 

“I’m making breakfast today.” Hanna announced as Alex came downstairs, pulling on a t-shirt. 

“Oh really?” Nicky said, looking amused. 

“Uh huh.” 

“What are you making?” 

“I’m gonna mix all the cereals together! It’ll be the best cereal.” She said, pulling cereal boxes from the pantry and nearly dropping one. Nicky sat at the breakfast bar, watching carefully. 

“Do you need help?”

“No, I’m doing it myself.” She grabbed the step stool from the pantry and drug it into the kitchen with her. 

Nicky squeezed Alex’s hand as they watched Hanna pour three bowls of cereal. She really didn’t spill as much as Alex had predicted. Nicky was a proponent of letting Hanna be independent when he could and he squeezed Alex’s hand even tighter to keep himself from going to help. He did close his eyes when she poured the milk, but all in all it turned out well. 

“Tadaa!” Hanna said, presenting her culinary masterpiece with a flourish. “See?”

“Thank you.” Nicky nodded. “It looks good.” 

All the cereals blended together wasn’t a gastronomic revolution, but it wasn’t disgusting. Afterwards, Nicky and Alex tidied up and finished their coffees while Hanna went to get dressed for the day. 

She came back downstairs wearing her Backstrom jersey and an orange tutu with green leggings underneath. Nicky didn’t bat an eye, except to say “are you going to be too warm in that?” 

“I have a t shirt under, see?” It was a Capitals t-shirt, but Alex didn’t know which one; she had quite the collection. 

“Ok.” Nicky nodded, breaking into a fond smile. “I like your skirt.” 

“It’s a tutu.” 

“Oh, of course.” He grinned at Alex. “Can you find your shoes, please?” 

“Yup!” She skipped out of the kitchen. 

Alex kissed Nicky softly. “You feel better today?” He asked. 

Nicky shrugged. “Yeah, maybe. Just...trying not to think about it, mostly.” He hooked his fingers into the waistband of Alex’s pants. “Can you come with me to drop her off?” 

“Sure. And then we go to the rink?” 

“Yeah. We should probably get there early.” Nicky nodded. “I haven’t turned my phone on. Have you?”

“Nope.” Alex smiled at him. “It’ll be ok.”

“I know.” Nicky rested his forehead on Alex’s shoulder. “She’ll be ok?” 

“She’ll be ok.” Alex nodded.

At school, Nicky ducked into the director’s office to talk with her about their announcement while Alex let himself get swarmed by children in the big play room, where the older kids congregated while waiting for everyone to get dropped off. 

As they left, Alex squeezed Nicky’s hand. “Everything ok?”

“Yeah. She saw already.” He shrugged. “She said congratulations.” 

“See? People are happy.” Alex said. 

They arrived at the rink early enough to beat the press, disappearing into the familiar quiet of the locker room. Nicky changed and headed out to the ice. Alex stayed behind, turning on his phone finally. 

It came to life with an extended series of chirps and noises as texts and notifications loaded. He scrolled through his texts first, most of which were congratulatory. He typed out replies, smiling to himself. He braced himself as he opened Twitter, but it wasn’t as bad as he’d feared. It was even mostly positive. 

He was still reading through things when the door opened and TJ came in. “Hey, congrats.” TJ smiled. 

“Thanks.”

“Is Backy on the ice already?” TJ asked, dropping his gear by his stall and coming to sit beside Alex. 

“Yeah. Too nervous.” Alex chuckled. 

“Sure, sure.” TJ nodded. “I just wanted to let you know, Lyla is really excited and she wants to be a flower girl. Leni too.” 

“Gonna have lots of flower girls, I think.” Alex laughed. 

“Yeah. If you guys want, Hanna can come over for a sleepover. You know, if you need some time alone. Leni has been asking about her.” 

“I’ll ask. She’d like that, I think. Maybe Friday?” 

“Sure. We can take her home after the game.” TJ nodded. He leaned closer, looking at Alex’s phone. “Is everything ok? I didn’t see anything too bad.” 

“Mostly good, I think.” 

“Good.” TJ wrapped an arm around him. “It’s gonna be a madhouse here Friday, you know that right?” 

“I know.” Alex made a face. “Just want to play hockey.” 

“You always like talking about Nicky.” TJ teased. “Now you get to do that all you want.” 

“True. Nicky’s gonna hate it.” Alex laughed. 

Nicky didn’t return to the locker room before practice started. When Alex made it to the ice, Andre and Nicky were off in the corner, lazily passing a puck back and forth while they talked in quiet voices. 

Alex skated over to them, snatching the puck away from Andre. 

“Hey, c’mon.” Andre protested. 

“Too slow.” Alex chirped, turning away with the puck. He expected Nicky to give chase, but when he circled back around, the blond was still standing there, frowning at him. 

Andre glanced at Alex, sharing a significant look, though Alex could only guess as to what they’d been talking about. Nicky shook his head and skated towards center ice as the rest of the team and staff arrived. 

He didn’t find a good time to talk to Nicky until after practice, when Nicky was finishing getting dressed. “You ok?” Alex asked. 

“Ready to go get Hanna.” He said, shrugging. “Just…” he ran a hand through his wet hair, sighing. 

“Nicky…”

“I know, I know. I’m nervous, that’s all.” He admitted. “And I know you’re not, but-“

Alex reeled him in to a hug. “Of course, I’m nervous. But, this is the best way. Better than it being an accident.” 

“I know.” Nicky nodded. “I know.” But he was starting to relax a bit, anyway. 

Alex squeezed even tighter. “Gonna give yourself a migraine.” He chided gently. “And they did cupcakes at school for birthdays, remember? Hanna’s gonna be very excited.” With 25 or so kids in the class, it seemed like there was a birthday every week. Alex didn’t know who it was today, but he’d seen the treats when they’d dropped her off. 

“You’re right.” Nicky nodded, not making to move away from his embrace. 

“Always right.” He smiled. “I turned on my phone. It’s not bad, Nicky.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. Lots of cute pictures of us on Twitter now. Everyone trying to figure out when.” 

“It’s not bad?” Nicky asked softly. 

“Some people, sure. But some people don’t like us anyway.” He shrugged. Alex was used to hearing about how he was too much, too loud. Nicky was usually ignored; now he wasn’t. 

“True.” Nicky nodded slowly. 

“Mike texted me. Says to tell you to call him.” Alex told him.

Nicky checked his phone in the car, smiling a little as he read messages from friends, family, and former teammates. At the school, Hanna came running once she saw them, bolting across the playground. Her jersey was gone and Alex smiled when he saw she had an Ovechkin shirt on underneath. 

“Papa! Sasha! Hi!” 

Nicky picked her up and hugged her tight. “Hi, alskling.” He said, kissing her cheek. 

“Papa…” she protested, trying to wriggle free. “You’re squishing me.” 

“You ready to go?” Nicky asked, setting her down. 

“Yeah. Well, I need my bag. But, yeah.” She agreed. 

The kids certainly didn’t act like anything was out of the ordinary, but the adults were trying to look without looking. Alex had been to pick Hanna up a few times, enough that the staff was used to him. The few other parents that were there watched them carefully, whispering. Nicky was pink, not oblivious to the attention. 

Instead of going home, they went to see Alex’s parents. Hanna raced inside to hug them both, chattering on about her day. Tatiana settled her on her lap, smiling and nodding as she listened. Mikhail produced a box of cookies from the cabinet. 

Tatiana clucked her tongue. “Doesn’t need more sweets.”

Mikhail laughed. “Just cookies.” 

Alex nudged Nicky, breaking his concentration from whatever he was thinking about as he stared into space. “We’re gonna go walk.” He explained quietly. 

“Ok.” Tatiana nodded. She smiled at both of them reassuringly. 

Nicky was still brimming with nervous energy. Alex laced their fingers together and Nicky tensed, glancing over his shoulder. “We’re out. All this trouble, can at least hold hands.” Alex teased. 

Nicky laughed, the noise tight and not entirely happy. “Right.”

“Talk.”

“Talk?”

“Talk.” Alex repeated. “Maybe calm you down.” 

Nicky bristled at that. “I’m fine. I-“

“Nicky…” Alex interrupted. “I know you better than anyone, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Nicky looked down. 

“So, talk.”

Nicky looked reluctant. They’d made progress on this; Nicky didn’t hide when he was hurting or sick, Nicky knew he didn’t have to bottle all his feelings up. That didn’t mean he didn’t default to it sometimes, with big things. And Alex couldn’t think of anything bigger. 

“I...I- what if this is bad for Hanna? Or...if it messes with the team. You already probably can’t play for Russia- what if someone hurts you?” 

Alex stopped him, a hand on his upper arm. “You get hit all the time.” He said softly. “People say things to you.”

“It’s just talk.” Nicky said dismissively. “They don’t know.” It was more than that; Nicky had been targeted for years and adopting Hanna had brought on more attention. Maybe it was because people were mistaken into thinking Nicky could be rattled, thinking Nicky could be distracted. 

“People still try, though.” Alex kept his voice gentle. “Try to upset you.” 

“It’s not a big deal. It doesn’t work.” Nicky said, smirking. 

Alex laughed. “They don’t know you good enough.” He teased. “I’ll be ok. Don’t have to worry about me. Hanna will be ok. Team will be ok.” 

Nicky nodded slowly, and then looked up at Alex thoughtfully. “Kiss me.” He said. 

Alex raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Kiss me.” Nicky said, squeezing Alex’s hand. “No one’s ever kissed me where anyone could see.” He added, voice careful and quiet. 

And, well, Alex was defenseless against that kind of logic. He kissed Nicky, tangling a hand in his hair, pulling his body flush to Alex’s. They parted after a long moment and Nicky was panting, just a bit. Alex grinned smugly. “Good first kiss?” He teased. 

Nicky giggled, tucking his head in against Alex’s chest. “It was ok, I guess.”

“I’ll keep trying.” Alex promised. 

“Please do.” Nicky said, grinning at him almost shyly, tucking his hair behind his ears. 

Friday, they had to do a press conference after morning skate, no matter how much Nicky frowned about it. Alex grinned at him, laughing. “Smile, or they think you hate marrying me.” He teased. 

Nicky’s grim expression cracked slightly. “Sorry. I just...I don’t like press.” 

“I know.” Alex said, rolling his eyes. Everyone, from the owner to the back-up zamboni driver, knew how Nicky felt about interviews. “Not that bad, though. Get to sit with me.”

They sat at a table and took turns fielding questions. Alex slipped his hand into Nicky’s and rested it on the table; Nicky was still getting use to that, that they didn’t have to avoid touching anymore. He relaxed immediately, grinning at Alex. He looked loose, a little confident. He looked like he knew he was about to give Alex a great pass; Alex liked it. 

The questions were mostly boring. How long had they been together (4 years), when were they getting married (summer, sometime), has the team been supportive (very). 

“Who proposed?” One of the reporters asked, an easy softball question after a few questions about discrimination in the league. 

Nicky leaned back in his chair. “I did. Twice.”

“Twice?” 

“He said the first one wasn’t good enough.” Nicky’s eyes twinkled mischievously and the press corps chuckled. 

Alex cleared his throat. “First time, very lazy.” He defended himself, laughing. “Still said yes.” Nicky ducked his head, giggling, and Alex swatted at him with their joined hands. 

Eventually, they were left alone. They napped, picked Hanna up from school, and took her to Alex’s parents’ house so she could go to the game with them. She had a bag packed for her sleepover. 

When they went out for warm-ups before the game, Alex was surprised by how loud the crowd was. There were lots of signs; he saw his name and Nicky’s name, and lots of hearts. Nicky made his way to where Hanna and her grandparents were sitting and Alex followed after him. 

When Hanna was at games, Nicky always kissed his hand, put it to the glass, and she would put her hand up to meet it. Alex could do that now, he realized. Hanna grinned at him brightly, laughing when he made a face at her. People were taking pictures, but he didn’t care. Hanna had two hands on the glass, one for Alex and one for Nicky. Alex looked at Nicky and leaned over and kissed his cheek. 

The crowd roared. 

Everything settled into something more normal when play started. Alex was able to block everything out and focus. He and Nicky weren’t on the same line, but they were on the power play together. 

He scored the first goal of the season off a slick pass from Nicky, the puck traveling between the other team’s defenders to land on Alex’s blade. He threw himself into Nicky along the boards, shouting happily. Nicky was laughing, patting him on the back. 

Alex wondered if it could ever get better than that. They won 3-1, in what was possibly the best game of Alex’s life. 

Hanna went home with the Oshies (minus TJ) and the team went to the bar. Alex bought the first round of drinks, feeling generous and happy and buoyant. Nicky had been drug to the dance floor and he had more than a few drinks, at least if the way he was dancing with Andre and Christian was any indication. 

“You guys look happy.” John Carlson said, scooting down the bench to sit beside Alex. “I mean, Nicky looks drunk, but you know, happy.” 

Alex laughed. “Everything has gone good.” He said. “He’s finally not so worried.” 

“Good.” John nodded. “Good.” He clinked their glasses together. “Congrats, man. I’m happy for you.”

Eventually, Alex had to go collect his fiancé, slipping an arm around his waist and distracting him from whatever dance Andre was trying to teach the other two. 

“Ready to go home?” Alex asked. 

Nicky nodded, and paused. “Kiss me?” 

Alex did, kissing him breathless as sweaty bodies pressed close around them, ignoring them. Nicky had never done this, Alex thought. Nicky wrapped his arms around him, his fingers creeping up under Alex’s shirt to feel bare skin. Alex groaned into his mouth. “Home.” He said between kisses.

“Yeah.” Nicky agreed, still pressed close. “Please.” 

At home, Nicky pressed Alex down to the mattress and kissed him, slowly and sweetly. He left a trail of kisses down his chest, undoing his pants and pulling them down as Alex lifted his hips. 

Alex closed his eyes as Nicky licked the underside of his cock, his tongue flat and broad. He squirmed when the blond sucked at his balls, lazily jacking him off as he did. Finally, Nicky swallowed him, head bobbing as he took Alex deeper and deeper. 

Alex bit his lip, hips jerking slightly and hitting the back of Nicky’s throat. Nicky coughed slightly but kept going, pressing him down firmly. Not many people could hold Alex down and he had maybe 20lbs on Nicky still, but Nicky was strong and well-muscled. Alex shifted a bit, just to see if he could, and Nicky pulled off with a pop, biting at Alex’s hip. 

“Stop moving.” He said, his voice hoarse as sin. 

“Oh fuck.” Alex whispered. “You sound...fuck.”

“You like it?” Nicky asked, smirking. He traced his finger along the edge of Alex’s dick. 

“Yeah.” Alex said. “Don’t tease, c’mon.” He tangled a hand in Nicky’s hair and the blond went easily. 

“Good.” Nicky said smugly, before taking him in his mouth again. 

Alex groaned. Nicky worked him up and swallowed around him when he came, letting Alex coax him up the bed afterwards. 

Nicky’s cock was red and leaking. He closed his eyes as Alex put his fingers in his mouth, sucking on them and sending jolts of want to the pit of Alex’s stomach. With his other hand, he jerked Nicky off until he came, striping Alex’s stomach with cum. 

“Oh, fuck.” Nicky said, voice rough. “Sasha…”

Alex passed him a handful of tissues, smiling. “Yeah.” 

“Shut up.” Nicky covered his eyes, laughing tiredly. 

Nicky fell asleep quickly that night, his arms wrapped around Alex’s middle, holding him tight. Alex was still smiling when he drifted off. 

In the morning he woke up in bed alone, which was never a good sign, especially given that Hanna was away. He sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, and grabbed a pair of shorts as went downstairs. 

Nicky wasn’t inside. He was almost ready to call him, but he pushed the back door open and found the blond in the hammock. 

“Talk to parents?” Alex guessed. 

“Uh huh.” He nodded. He was texting, tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth. He scooted over to make room for Alex when he approached. “Sorry.” He said, gesturing to his phone. “Kris was texting me.” 

“Everything ok?” 

Nicky deflated with a sigh. “Mostly, yeah.” He snuggled in against Alex’s side. “My parents...they think this is bad for Hanna.”

“She’s fine.” Alex said. “Bad for Hanna if her papa is hiding.” 

“I know. They think...they showed her on TV last night, she was wearing your jersey...I don’t know why they’re so upset.” Nicky admitted. 

Alex shrugged. “They don’t like that she has family here.”

“I know.” Nicky nodded. “They kept saying...they kept saying it’s bad to put her on TV, because people might...I don’t know.”

Alex hugged Nicky close. “They always show kids on TV. Always show Oshie’s kids, if they there. Not a big deal.”

“Apparently it is to them.” Nicky said darkly. He looked at his phone and made a frustrated noise. “Kris says they think I should send her to stay with his family, until after Christmas.”

Alex’s eyes went wide. “What?!”

“I’m not going to, obviously.” Nicky assured him. “They think she should go to Sweden until...I don’t know, I guess until people don’t care that we came out? I’m not sure.” 

Alex fought back the anger bubbling in his gut. “They think we just put four year old on a plane by herself?” He asked incredulously. 

Nicky managed a thin smile. “My parents said they would come get her.”

“Not happening.” 

“I know. I just...I don’t know about them.” Nicky rubbed his eyes. 

“Kris doing ok with everything?”

Nicky shrugged. “He said he understands but...he didn’t think we should. He’s ok, I think.” 

Alex nodded; they couldn’t expect everyone to magically agree with their decisions, but it was disheartening to hear. His parents were supportive, and his brother (to the extent that he could be supportive from Russia). He’d heard from his grandmother, but most of his family hadn’t said anything. 

“What about your family?” Nicky asked. 

“Grandmother is very excited. She likes you, wants to meet Hanna.” Alex smiled. 

“Everyone else?”

Alex shrugged. “They...I don’t know, it’s different in Russia.”

“I’m sorry.” Nicky said. 

Alex smiled and kissed his forehead. “Don’t be. Don’t need them. Need you.” Nicky closed his eyes and snuggled close. 

“Thank you.” 

For the most part, everything was fine. Sure, Nicky’s parents were a bit crazy and Alex’s extended family more than a bit distant, but overall everything was fine. They had a family in D.C, they had community, they had each other. 

Hanna was sitting at the table coloring while Alex cooked and Nicky was on the floor between them, still red and sweaty from running. He had been stretching his legs, being careful with his hip, but he was mostly staring off into space. 

“Hey papa?” Hanna asked. 

“Yeah?”

“What’s fag mean?” Nicky froze and Alex almost dropped the knife he was holding. 

“It’s a bad word.” Nicky said slowly. “People use it to be mean.” 

Hanna looked at him, frowning. “Oh.” 

“Where did you hear that?” Nicky asked carefully. 

“At school. One of the big kids.” She set her crayon down and turned to face him. “They said it about you an’ Sasha.” She looked upset, her eyes shining and her lip quivering. 

“It’s ok. You’re not in trouble. You didn’t know.” Nicky hugged her and she clung to him tight. 

“Why did they say something bad?”

Nicky rocked her back and forth, eyes closed. Alex stayed rooted in place for a moment, unsure what to do. “They probably heard someone else say it. Do you remember who said it?” Nicky asked. 

Hanna looked reluctant, shrugging. 

Alex cleared his throat. “They maybe don’t know it’s bad.” He offered. “They need someone to...to teach them.”

Nicky nodded along. “No one’s in trouble. We just want to know.” 

Hanna wiped her eyes. “It was Andrew. He’s with the after school kids.” She hugged Nicky even tighter. “Did he say something mean because you an’ Sasha are getting married?”

Nicky looked heartbroken and Alex moved to sit beside them, hugging the both of them. “Maybe.” Nicky admitted. “I don’t really know.” 

“It’s a bad word?” 

“Yeah.” Nicky nodded. “It’s a bad word.” 

“About...about you?”

Alex stepped in when Nicky faltered. “Some people don’t like when two boys love each other. So, they say bad words to make them sad.”

“Oh.” Hanna looked up. “Did I make you sad too?” She asked, worrying at her lower lip with her teeth. 

Nicky hugged her even tighter. “No, never.” He promised. 

They stayed on the floor a while longer, until Hanna got restless. “Papa, you need a bath.” Hanna said. “With lots of bubbles.” She wrinkled her nose at him. 

Nicky chuckled. “Do you think I smell bad?” He asked. 

“A little.” Hanna hedged. 

“A lot.” Alex teased, which made Hanna giggle. “Need to shower before dinner.” 

“Ok, ok.” Nicky laughed. “If it makes you guys happy.” 

After dinner, they walked to a nearby park, kicking a soccer ball along as they did. They played soccer, or at least as best they could with three people, one of whom was four years old. Hanna eventually lost interest and went to play on the slides. 

When she left, the competitiveness of their game quickly escalated. Alex laughed when Nicky tried to hip-check him away from the ball. Alex grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer, and they tripped over each other’s feet and fell to the ground in a heap. 

“I think that’s a 2 minutes.” Hanna said seriously from the foot of the slide. “At least.” Nicky hid his laughter against Alex’s chest and Alex smiled broadly. 

“You gonna be a referee?” Alex asked, getting up and holding out a hand to help Nicky up. 

Hanna shook her head. “That’s no fun.” She climbed up the slide and slid back down on her stomach, tumbling off the end. Alex loved to watch Hanna play, but sometimes he thought she was more reckless than he had been as a child. 

She laughed to herself as she pushed up off the ground. “Can you push me on the swings, please?” She asked. 

Nicky nodded. “Sure.” He agreed easily. 

Hanna loved to swing; she didn’t need to be pushed, but she liked it and Alex knew Nicky did too. Alex sat on the swing beside Hanna. 

“Push me too?” Alex asked playfully, leaning back to watch Nicky roll his eyes. He was still smiling, though, his whole face soft and fond. 

“If I can. You’re pretty heavy.” He teased. 

“All muscle.” Alex assured him. 

That night, after Hanna had gone to bed, Alex snuggled up with Nicky on the couch. “Are you gonna say something tomorrow?” Alex asked. 

“About...about what Hanna heard?” Nicky clarified. 

“Yeah.” Alex nodded. 

“I think so.” Nicky shrugged. “I don’t know if it will do any good, but maybe it will.” 

In the morning, they took Hanna to school together and then went to practice. They were leaving the next day for the first road trip of the season. Privately, Alex was nervous; as a whole, D.C loved them, but that didn’t mean everyone would. Alex had heard a few chirps during games, but it was nothing out of the ordinary, nothing that surprised him. 

Honestly, the fact that he was engaged to a man wasn’t even the most chirp-worthy thing about him. 

Alex was more worried about Nicky. Nicky had a way of not reacting to things that drove people crazy; he had a way of keeping a flat expression that made people think if they tried harder they could break through it. Nicky was good, Nicky’s hands were the best in the league (according to Alex), but Nicky wasn’t particularly fast. So, Nicky got hit. It didn’t usually bother him- they played professional hockey, they were going to get hit. But Nicky had been targeted before coming out publicly, people had been saying shit to him for years. 

Alex, as it turned out, was right to be worried. 

Maybe if Nicky wasn’t so good at faceoffs, or maybe if he didn’t smile when his opponent messed up the draw. Maybe if people thought Nicky was going to hit back, they would think twice. But Nicky had never been in a fight in his life, not a real one, and people made assumptions based on that. 

Alex knew Nicky pissed people off; it was part of his job. It threw people off their game. Still, watching from the bench as Nicky embarrassed Chicago’s third-line center again and again, grinning when the man said something abrasive, Alex knew something was building. 

Towards the end of the third, with the Capitals leading 4-2, Nicky got shoved face-first into the boards. The whistle blew and one of the refs inserted themselves between TJ and the aggressor. Andre was kneeling on the ice beside Nicky, helping him to his feet. Nicky shook off his attention, covering his mouth as he skated to the bench. He veered off to avoid getting close to Alex, letting one of the trainers quickly patch him up. 

He was on the ice for his next shift on the power play like nothing had happened. Alex felt a burst of pride at that, even moreso when Nicky passed to Carlson, who scored. 

Afterwards, he cornered him in the locker room before he could go shower. “Let me see.” Alex said, tilting his chin up. It could’ve been worse, but it could’ve been a lot better too. Nicky’s bottom lip was split and bruised, dried blood on his chin. “Teeth ok?”

“I’m fine.” Nicky said snippishly. Alex raised his eyebrows at him and Nicky’s shoulders slumped. “Sorry. I’m just sore.” He admitted. 

Alex squeezed his hand. “What did he say?”

“Nothing.” 

“Nicky…”

“Maybe he was just pissed about his faceoffs.” Nicky shrugged. “I’m gonna go shower.” He ducked away and disappeared into the showers. 

Alex turned his attention to TJ. “What did that asshole say to Nicky?”

TJ grinned. “He was talking shit all night.” He shrugged. “The better Nicky does, the more it pisses guys like that off.” 

Alex sighed. “But what did he say?” 

“Oh, almost everything.” TJ chuckled. “I’d rate it 4/10 as far as trash talk goes.”

“He say anything about Nicky being gay?”

“Yeah.” TJ patted the bench beside him and Alex sat down, letting TJ throw an arm over his shoulders. “These guys, they’re gonna learn. They just think this is some new way to finally get to him.” 

“What did he say?”

“Oh, the usual, I guess. About Nicky sucking dick and being...well, a lot of bad things, really.” TJ admitted candidly. “He’s fine.” 

Nicky saying he was fine and Nicky actually being fine were not necessarily the same thing. 

Back at the hotel, Nicky crawled into bed with a groan, closing his eyes. His mouth was already bruised and his chin was starting to go purple as well. He hadn’t needed stitches at least; they’d patched him up with glue. “Fuck, my neck hurts.” Nicky said, shifting with a wince. 

“Trainers checked you out?”

“Uh huh. No concussion. Jus’ sore.” He said, lisping a bit around his fat lip. 

Alex laid down beside him, squeezing the back of his neck. He could feel the tension in his muscles, his shoulders rigid with it. Alex turned on the TV for some background noise and motioned for Nicky to move, rolling him into his stomach. 

“What’re you doing?” Nicky asked, cracking his eyes open. 

Alex smiled at him. “Being nice. Now shhh.” 

“Ok, ok.” Nicky grumbled, stretching out. He moaned quietly as Alex started to massage his shoulders, working his thumbs into the tense muscles. “Fuck, Sasha…” 

“Shh.” Alex said again, grinning to himself. 

Nicky muttered under his breath but fell quiet. By the time Alex had worked out all the knots and the tension had bled away, Nicky was asleep. 

Nicky was a collage of bruises by the time they returned to D.C, though he didn’t complain about it. Alex was too, his body aching and his muscles tight. Nicky fell asleep against Alex’s shoulder, exhausted, on the plane ride home. Tom moved to sit in the seat across from Alex. 

“Don’t.” Alex said, before Tom could even open his mouth. 

“You don’t know what I was going to say.” Tom argued, quietly for Nicky. 

“Starting fights isn’t gonna fix it.” Alex said. He hated it. He wished he could punch every person who laid a hand on Nicky, but he couldn’t, not without making it worse. 

“We have to do something.” Tom said. “He’s gonna get really hurt. Or you.” 

Alex turned his head and looked at Nicky, combing his fingers through his hair. “He’ll kill both of us if we start fights.” Alex said with a smile. 

Maybe years ago, Alex would’ve thrown caution to the wind, but age or Nicky had tempered him a bit. Or maybe it was the four year old that dutifully watched all their games. Alex tried to imagine explaining to Hanna why he’d started a fight. 

“What the fuck are we supposed to do?” Tom hissed. “I can’t just ignore it.” 

“You should.” Nicky muttered, stretching as he woke up. He blinked at both of them sleepily, bags under his eyes. “They keep getting penalties; we keep scoring.” 

“You’re gonna get hurt!” Tom said emphatically, loud enough people in the rows behind them lifted their heads or looked up from their games. 

Nicky’s eyes flashed with menace. “That’s not your problem.” He said firmly. 

Tom held his hands up defensively. 

Alex squeezed Nicky’s hand, rubbing his thumb over the finger that had been broken. “Can’t keep going after you.” Alex said softly. 

“They’ll stop when they figure out it doesn’t work.” Nicky said, forcing certainty into his words. 

They didn’t stop. Alex got frustrated, Nicky went quiet, and it all came to a head when Hanna watched Nicky get elbowed in the face on a Sunday afternoon. He went down at center ice, sprawling on his stomach and covering his head. 

In the locker room, Hanna ran for Nicky, tears on her cheeks. He scooped her up and she touched the bandage on his cheeks. “Are you ok?” She asked, voice wobbling. 

Nicky hugged her tight. “I’m ok.”

“Why did he hit you?” She asked. Alex was watching with bated breath- both Andre and Tom had stopped playing around to eavesdrop. 

“I don’t know. Maybe it was an accident.” He said. 

Hanna bit her lip. “Did he say mean things to you?” She asked softly. Nicky closed his eyes, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. He turned away from everyone; Alex could see a faint tremor in his shoulders. 

“Yeah.” Nicky finally said. “Yeah, he did.”

“He should get a two minutes.” Hanna said, looping her arms around her Father’s neck and hugging him. 

Nicky gave a watery laugh. “He should, yeah?” 

Nicky was stronger than anyone Alex knew. He bore the full weight of his parents criticisms, he sought out the challenges of raising a child alone, he stood strong when people threatened him. He stood in front of cameras, in front of reporters, and smiled when he said, “My daughter wants to know why it’s not a penalty to say those things. She’s only four. Maybe the NHL should catch up.” He shrugged carelessly, like what he was saying wasn’t consequential. 

To say it caused an uproar would be putting it mildly. It spurred the ‘You Can Play’ campaign to get involved. The league came out with a statement. The team made one as well. People who were paid to talk talked about how Backstrom handled it well, how Backstrom handled it terribly, it was just part of the game. 

“Stupid part of the game.” Alex said in an interview, shaking his head. “We’re trying to fix it.” 

A few days before Halloween, Hanna still hadn’t decided what she wanted to be. And, she’d started having nightmares. 

Alex woke up to her crawling into bed between them, sniffling and crying as she pressed her face to Nicky’s chest. “What’s wrong?” Nicky muttered, pulling her close.

“I don’t want you to play hockey.” She cried weakly. 

“Why?” 

Alex rolled over and rested a hand on her back, wincing at how each sob made her shake. “I don’t want you to get hurt more.” She wiped her face on his shirt. Nicky kissed her, rubbing her back. 

“I’m not hurt. I’m ok.” He reassured her. “I have some bruises, but that happens when you play. You have bruises from soccer.” He pointed out. 

Hanna shook her head. “I don’t want them to say mean things to you.” She took a deep breath. “It’s not fair!” 

Nicky closed his eyes. Alex draped his arm over them, kissing Nicky’s cheek. The blond had his eyes shut tight, tears collecting along his lashes. He managed to calm Hanna down and he slipped out of bed after she’d fallen asleep. Alex followed him. 

Nicky let Alex wrap him up in a hug, shedding a few tears that soaked into Alex’s shirt. “Shit, I’m sorry.” Nicky wiped at his face, trying to hold back tears. “Sorry.”

Alex kissed the top of his head, his own eyes wet as his face went hot. They’d known this wasn’t going to be easy, but Alex hadn’t imagined it being like this; he hadn’t imagined it giving Hanna nightmares. “It’s ok.” He said uselessly. “It’s ok.”

“I don’t know what to do.” Nicky admitted, voice cracking. “She’s- I was trying to do this for her.” 

Alex’s eyes ran over and he couldn’t hold Nicky close enough. “I know.” He whispered. “She’s tough, it’ll be better.” 

Nicky sobbed and Alex felt gutted, felt helpless. “I don’t know how to do this.” It was easier to admit those things in the wee hours of the morning, when nothing else seemed real. It hurt that much more, to know how vulnerable Nicky was. 

Alex rocked him side to side, tears silently spilling down his cheeks. “We figure it out.” Alex said, emotion overflowing from his words. 

Nicky looked up and cupped his cheek in his hand, gently thumbing away tears. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. 

“Not your fault. Just...worry about you.” 

“I know. I know if it was you, I...I can’t imagine.” He admitted. “I’m sorry.” 

Sometimes, it was Alex. Sometimes it was Alex getting the rough end of verbal jabs, or the physical ones. It made him dig deeper, it propelled him. 

It wasn’t every game. Most of the time, most players let them be. Some even came up to congratulate them. 

Vladimir Tarasenko found Alex before their game against St. Louis, stretching beside him at center ice. “Congratulations.” He said smiling. “When’s the wedding?” 

“Sometime over the summer.” Alex answered. He laughed. “You want to be invited?”

“Maybe.” Vladi shrugged. “If you’re not doing something small.” 

“You want cake.” Alex teased, laughing when Vladi flushed a bit pink. “We’ll see. I’m not sure how many people Nicky likes.”

“None.” Vladi said, laughing. “We’ll bring nice presents though.” He offered. 

For Halloween, Hanna settled on being a witch. It was easy to find a pointy hat and a small broom. She emerged from her room with a sparkly black tutu and a black shirt on, her hat a little lopsided on her head. 

“How many of those skirts do you have?” Nicky asked, mildly curious. 

She sighed. “It’s a tutu, Papa.” 

“Right, of course.” 

“I got it from Leni.” Hanna explained, clambering into Nicky’s lap. “Where’s your costume?” 

“I’m dressed as a hockey player. Can’t you tell?” Nicky was in jeans and a hoody. Hanna groaned and dropped her head to his chest. 

“Papa, you’re always a hockey player.” She said, an air of dramatics to her voice. “That doesn’t count.” 

“Well, what should I be?” 

Hanna paused, looking thoughtful. “You could be my cat!” She decided. “I have cat ears!” She ran back upstairs to her room. 

Nicky looked at Alex. “When did she get cat ears?” He asked, looking worried. 

Hanna didn’t have cat ears on a headband- she had cat ears that clipped into your hair with barrettes. It took both her and Alex to successfully place them so they weren’t crooked. 

“Your hair is so long.” Hanna said, giggling as she ran her fingers through it. “Now you need whiskers!” 

“What about Sasha?” Nicky prompted. 

Hanna looked at him consideringly. “You could be a vampire?” 

“A vampire missing a tooth?” Nicky asked, raising his eyebrows. 

Hanna looked thoughtful. “He’s a nice vampire.” She decided. 

Hanna went through Alex’s side of the closet looking for black clothing, Alex holding her in his arms while she browsed his collection. Nicky sat on the foot of the bed, watching; it was hard to take him seriously with whiskers drawn on his face. 

“Sasha?” Hanna began. 

“Yeah?”

“Do you really wear this?” She asked, raising her eyebrows skeptically as she pulled out a shirt covered in sequins. Nicky’s mouth twisted as he tried to keep from laughing. 

“Yes, you like it? I could share.” Alex teased, kissing her cheek. 

“No, no...it’s...oh boy.” She rubbed at her face. Nicky turned away, smothering his laughter. 

Finally, she found a plain black shirt. They fashioned a cape out of a blanket and Hanna had a pair of plastic fangs she got at school. 

“How do I look?” Alex asked, smiling broadly. 

“Not very spooky.” Hanna declared, crossing her arms. “But that’s ok.” 

They went trick or treating with the Oshie family before everyone converged in the Carlson house for a big party. The kids bobbed for apples and played games in the yard while the adults ate and drank. Alex claimed a spot on the swing by the fire pit and Nicky soon joined him, his legs thrown over Alex’s lap. 

Periodically, Hanna ran over to chatter excitedly at them before hurrying back to the group of kids. 

Andre squeezed into the swing with them. “Nice whiskers.” He teased playfully. 

Nicky smiled. “Thanks. Where’s your costume?” He asked, pretending not to see the comically large nose Andre was wearing. 

“Your jokes are awful. I don’t know how Ovi can live with you.” Andre said, laughing as he did. 

“We make it work.” Alex said, squeezing Nicky’s leg. “But makes terrible dad jokes.”

“I am a dad.” Nicky pointed out. “So, all my jokes are dad jokes.” Andre rolled his eyes, shaking his head but smiling. 

After a few hours, Hanna made her way into Alex’s lap, leaning her head on his chest. A few people had left and most others were inside; only a few stayed out by the fire pit as the flames burned low. Nicky was half-asleep, having mostly given up on contributing to the conversation. 

“You have fun?” Alex asked, running his hand over her hair in a futile attempt to smooth it. 

“Uh huh.” She nodded, snuggling close. 

“You sleepy?”

“No.” She protested immediately, barely able to keep her eyes open. 

“Sleepy like your papa.” Alex teased. Hanna whined wordlessly and Nicky opened his eyes enough to smile at both of them. 

“We should probably go home.” He said quietly. 

Hanna wasn’t sleepy, but she fell asleep before they’d even gotten out of the neighborhood. Nicky was quiet in the passenger seat, his hand on Alex’s thigh and the radio down low. 

At home, Nicky watched as Alex carefully picked Hanna up out of the car seat. “You don’t have to carry her.” He said, pitching his voice quieter. 

Alex shrugged. Hanna looped her arms around his neck, burying her face against him. “I like it.” He said. Hanna wasn’t always going to be little enough for this; Hanna wasn’t always going to want this. 

November ushered in cooler, grayer weather. While Nicky was talking on the phone with Mike, Alex found Hanna playing in her room, rain pattering against the glass. 

“What should we get your papa for his birthday?” Alex asked, keeping his voice quiet. 

Hanna looked hopeful. “A kitten?” She suggested. 

Alex snorted. “No kittens, that’s what you want.” 

She nodded. “Socks?”

“Socks are ok. You want only socks for your birthday?” He asked, raising his eyebrows. 

“Ok. We can give him fun socks and…” she trailed off. “What are you giving him?” 

Alex had been looking at wedding bands, because Nicky had given him his years ago and he’d never gotten around to buying one for him. Now, with a tentative plan to actually get married, it seemed like a good time. “If I tell you, you can’t tell him, ok?” 

“Like a surprise?” She asked. 

“Yeah. Can you do surprise?” 

“I won’t tell, I promise.” She said solemnly. 

He pulled his phone from his pocket and showed her the picture. Her blue eyes widened comically and she covered her mouth. “That’s so pretty!”

“You like it?” 

“Yeah! Is that for when you get married?” 

“Yeah. For getting married.” He agreed. He sat down in the rocking chair. “Need to give him more than socks though.” 

Hanna climbed into his lap. “We could do a Christmas ornament. Papa likes Christmas.” 

Alex chuckled, nodding. “That’s a good idea.”

Hanna smiled at him. “And maybe a kitten?” 

“No.” Alex laughed. “No kittens.”

She sighed heavily. “Ok, ok.” She said. “No kittens.” Alex kissed the top of her head. 

It was hard to find the time to actually purchase the ring. He wanted to buy it in a store; if he had it shipped, there was a good chance Nicky would see it, or at least be curious. Finally, Alex turned to Andre. 

“Need you to take Nicky for lunch.” He said after practice. 

Andre glanced across the locker room at the man in question. “Is he hungry?” He asked slowly, looking confused. 

Alex rolled his eyes. “Need him out of the house. For birthday stuff.” 

Andre’s eyes widened, grinning at him. “What kind of birthday stuff?” 

Alex lowered his voice. “Gonna buy a ring. You tell him, you do bag skates the rest of your life.” 

Andre nodded, bouncing on his toes with excitement. “I won’t tell, I promise.”

“Better not.” Alex threatened mildly. “So, you distract him.” 

“I can do that.” Andre assured him, before crossing to the room to wrap Nicky in an aggressive hug. Alex watched and pretended to look surprised when Nicky told him he was going to get lunch with Andre. 

“You can come, if you want.” Nicky offered. 

Alex smiled. “It’s ok. Burky needs his Papa.” 

Nicky rolled his eyes. “Do you want to take the car?”

“No, it’s ok. Kuzy can give me a ride.”

“I can what?” Evgeny said, raising his eyebrows. 

“You give me ride, because you love me so much.” Alex said. _“Don’t ask so many questions.”_ He added in Russian. 

Evgeny nodded, looking suitably confused. “I can give him a ride.” He said to Nicky. “Apparently.” 

Alex explained his plan to Evgeny, who offered to come with him. And, well, Alex never said no to company. 

_“Someone needs to make sure you don’t buy him a hideous ring.”_ Evgeny teased as they reached the car. 

_“Maybe we should invite someone else then.”_ Alex said, smirking when Evgeny shot him a dirty look. 

The ring looked even more beautiful in person then it did in pictures. It was silver, like Alex’s, textured in the middle with bright shiny silver edging. It didn’t have any diamonds, but Alex thought that would be too much for Nicky’s taste. 

He showed it to Evgeny, who leaned over the jewelry case to look at it. _“Oh, that’s perfect.”_ He looked at Alex in surprise. _“Honestly, not what I was expecting from you.”_

 _“I know what Nicky likes.”_ He said. _“Known him forever.”_ Almost half his life, by now. Nicky was constant when everything else always changed. 

_“True.”_

Alex pointed to ring out to the salesperson, who smiled and removed it from the case. “Would you like it engraved?” They asked. 

Alex was about to answer when his phone rang. He glanced at it and saw that it was Nicky. “Hold on.” He said, walking away to answer. “Hello?”

“Hey, so, the school called. Apparently Hanna doesn’t feel good. Could you pick her up since you’re home?” 

Alex faltered. “I...not home. Kuzy needed something at the store.” Nicky sighed. “We can pick her up, though. It’s ok.” Nicky and Andre were on the other side of the metro from the school, and lunchtime rush hour was a nightmare in D.C. 

“You don’t have a car seat.” Nicky pointed out. 

“I buy one. Mama needs a new one for her car anyway. Hanna’s almost too big.” Alex said. 

“If you’re sure…”

“Very sure. I pick her up, see you at home.”

“Ok. Thank you. I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Alex promised. 

Evgeny looked at him. _“We’re buying a car seat now?”_

Alex rolled his eyes. _“Big day, wedding band and car seat too.”_ Then, he switched to English to finish buying the ring, leaving with a tiny box that felt very heavy in his pocket. 

They made short work of picking up a car seat and going to the school. Hanna sniffled, letting Alex pick her up. Her cheeks were pink and she buried her face against his shoulder. “Hi, Sasha.” She whispered. 

“Hi, Solnyshka.” He whispered back, picking up her backpack with his other hand. “You ready to go home?”

“Uh huh.” She nodded. “Where’s Papa?”

“He’ll be home soon. He was with Maymay.” Alex wondered when that nickname would be retired, but Hanna hadn’t shown any indication she was done with it and Andre seemed to like the attention. 

“He’s not here?” She asked, voice watery. 

Alex rubbed her back. “He’ll meet us at home.” He promised. 

Hanna fell quiet, letting herself be carried outside. 

“Hey, Hanna.” Evgeny said, smiling at her. 

Hanna bit her lip. “Hi.” She rubbed her eyes. 

Alex set her in the car seat, buckling her in. “What’s the matter?” He asked. 

“My tummy hurts.” She said, crossing her arms. She looked ready to cry. Alex touched her forehead, but couldn’t feel a fever. 

“Sorry. We go home.” He murmured, brushing her hair off her forehead. 

They were halfway home when Hanna sniffled again. “Sasha?” 

“Yeah?” He turned halfway in his seat to look at her. 

“Do I have a mommy?” Alex tried to keep a straight face. “Lexi said...she said I have to. And that my mommy didn’t love me.” Out of the corner of his eye, Alex could see Evgeny’s hands tighten on the wheel, biting his lip. 

“You...let’s talk to Papa, ok?” Alex tried to stall.

“She said ‘cause I’m adopted, I...I don’t have real family.” A couple tears rolled down her cheeks. 

“That’s not true.” Alex squeezed her knee gently, wishing he could pick her up. “You have lots of family.” 

She was trying hard not to cry, but she was only four; more tears fell and she shook her head. “I have a mommy?” 

Alex was not the person to be having this conversation; Alex was barely holding back tears himself. “Papa knows more about your mommy than I do.” He said, hoping it was true. “He has answers.” Sasha didn't have answers, Sasha only had a broken heart and the overwhelming urge to go yell at another four year old for upsetting his Hanna so badly. 

When they got to the house, Evgeny helped carry the car seat inside. _“Do you need anything?”_ He asked quietly. 

_“We’ll be ok. Thank you.”_ Alex answered, rocking Hanna back and forth. 

He settled on the couch with her, wishing he could do something to make her feel better. She snuggled closer to him, fidgeting with the strings of his hoody. He sent a short text to Nicky, to warn him about what he was walking into. 

Nicky let himself in quietly and came to sit beside them. Hanna had been dozing, but opened her eyes when she heard his voice. 

“Hi there, alskling.” He whispered, kissing her forehead. “Sasha said you were upset?” 

“Do I have a mommy?” She asked. 

Nicky kept his face neutral; he must’ve had a plan for explaining this, because he was Nicky, but he’d never told Alex what it was. “Yeah. Everyone does.” He said softly. 

“Where is she?” 

“I don’t know.” Nicky admitted. 

Hanna’s eyes welled over. “Did she love me?” 

Nicky pulled her into his lap. “She did. She loved you a lot.” 

“Why did she get rid of me?” Hanna asked, hugging him tight. “Why?” 

Nicky closed his eyes, pressing his nose to the top of her head. “She loved you a lot and she didn’t think she could take care of you. So, she found a place where you would be happy.” 

“With you?” She guessed. 

“Yeah.” He nodded, voice hoarse. “With me.” 

“And Sasha?”

Alex wondered if it was worth trying to explain to her how he and Nicky went from being teammates, to friends, to even more; someday, she would obviously get the full story. But at four years old…

“Sasha came to see you the day you were born and loved you so much he never left.” 

Hanna finally smiled and Alex looked away as tears welled in his eyes. “But what about my mommy?” 

Nicky nodded. “She was really happy you had such a good home. That’s what she wanted for you.” He explained. 

Hanna looked pensive, her little world completely upended. “Can I see her?”

Nicky drew a sharp breath. “No, I’m sorry.” 

“Why?”

Nicky paused, taking a breath. “Because… because she needs to take care of herself.” He started. “It would make her sad, I think, to see you but not be able to take care of you.” 

“Oh.” Hanna said. “Is she ok?” 

“She’s ok.” Nicky nodded. “She’s getting better.” He shifted. “Do you want to see the first picture I ever got of you?” 

“Uh huh.” 

“Ok, hold on.” Hanna was shuffled to Alex’s lap and Nicky went upstairs, coming back with a small box. Alex had seen it tucked away in a dresser drawer, but had never opened it. 

Nicky sat down beside them again and removed the lid, taking out an ultrasound picture. “This is when you were still in your mommy’s belly.” He explained carefully, like he’d planned this. “I used to look at it every night.” 

Hanna leaned closer. “That doesn’t look like me.” She said, an air of skepticism to her voice. 

Nicky chuckled. “You were really small.” He allowed. “I couldn’t wait to meet you.” 

“Why?” 

“Because...I was by myself and I wanted to have a family.” Nicky traced his finger across the picture absently, something he must’ve done a hundred times before, Alex thought with a lump in his throat. 

“But what about Sasha?” 

“We were only friends. We weren’t family, then.” Nicky explained. “And then you were born, and we were your family.” That made it sound simple, glossing over a decade of pining and miscommunication. It wasn’t a lie though; as soon as Alex had met Hanna, had seen Nicky so happy, he hadn’t been able to leave. 

“And Babu and Dedushka?” 

“Them too.” Nicky nodded. 

“I have lots of family?”

“So much.” Nicky assured her. “And they love you.”

Hanna nodded slowly, mulling it over. She looked up at Nicky. “I’m glad my mommy picked you.” She said. 

Nicky smiled, wiping at his eyes uselessly. “Me too.” He said, hugging her tight. Alex hugged both of them, closing his eyes as they watered over. 

They spent the rest of the day in pajamas, lounging on the couch together. Hanna stayed pressed between them, her head resting on Alex’s chest heavily. They watched her favorite ocean documentary, and Alex still thought it was both adorable and ridiculous that she had a favorite documentary at all. 

“Do you have hockey tomorrow?” Hanna asked. 

“There’s an optional skate in the afternoon. Why?” 

“Do I have to go to school?” 

Nicky raised his eyebrows. “Why don’t you want to go?” 

“Papa…” she whined. 

“I didn’t say you have to go, yet. Why don’t you want to go?” 

Hanna squirmed. “Lexi and Lyndsay were making fun of me and...I told them to stop, but they didn’t.” She explained. 

“Did they make fun of you for having a different family?” Different was such a sweet way to describe a family strewn across three continents and half a hockey team, Alex thought. Nicky was good at this. 

“Uh huh.” 

Nicky considered it for a long moment. “How about this? I’ll talk to your teacher and she’ll make sure people aren’t being mean.”

“Papa…” Hanna frowned. 

“And then, we’ll take you to practice and we can get lunch after. Does that sound good?” He continued as though she hadn’t interrupted. 

“Ok.” She said, slumping against Alex’s chest again. “Can Maymay come too?”

“We can ask.” Nicky said. “He might be busy though.” He cautioned. 

Hanna looked up at him. “Can we ask now? So he knows?”

Nicky smiled fondly at her. “Yeah. I’ll text him.” 

The next day, Hanna lingered beside the car instead of climbing the steps of the school eagerly. She leaned against Alex’s legs, holding his hand. Alex had the urge to put her back in the car, to drive her home and cuddle her the rest of the day. 

Luckily for both of them, Nicky was there. “C’mon, let’s go.” He said, smiling at both of them like he sensed Alex’s apprehension. Nicky knelt down in front of her, fussing with the zipper of her jacket. “I know those girls were mean. Sometimes, people are mean.”

“People say mean things to you too?”

Nicky smiled sadly, moving his hand to adjust one of her pigtails. “Yeah, sometimes.”

“What do you do?” 

Nicky shrugged and looked at Alex. “He ignores them. Keeps doing his best. Shows them they can’t bother him. Very brave.” Alex said. 

Nicky blushed slightly at the praise. “Can you do that? Be brave and go to school?”

Hanna nodded slowly. “And then we get lunch with Maymay?”

Nicky’s small smile cracked open wide. “Yeah, then we’ll get lunch.” He promised. 

“Can you both come inside?” 

Alex scooped her up and tickled her, grinning when she burst into giggles. “Yes! Have to make sure you go to class.” He teased, kissing her cheek loudly. 

Nicky slipped aside to talk to Hanna’s teachers while Hanna pulled Alex by the hand to show him her artwork where it hung on the wall. 

As they left, Nicky passed the keys to Alex silently, falling into the front seat and hanging his head. “Can we go home?” 

“Don’t want breakfast?” He asked; they had something of a tradition, getting breakfast with the Oshies, Carlsons, and Holtbys at least once a week, depending on kids and practice. 

“No.” He shook his head. “Sorry.” 

Alex squeezed his knee and drove home in silence. Nicky leaned his head against the window, looking exhausted. Alex let the garage door close behind them, until they were sitting in silence, insulated against everything else. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I...I don’t know what to do. For Hanna, I mean.” Nicky admitted quietly. 

“She’ll be ok. She’s tough.” 

“I don’t want her to hate school.” Nicky said. “I want her to feel safe.” 

Alex sighed and squeezed his hand. “I know. Right choice though, to send her to school today. Kids are mean sometimes, people are mean sometimes. She learns to deal with it now, better if it happens again.”

“Would you have sent her?” Nicky asked, looking up at Alex. 

“No.” Alex admitted. “But, it’s better for her to go to school. Better for me to keep her home and snuggle her.” 

Nicky smiled at that. “I did the right thing?” 

“You did the right thing.” Alex agreed. 

They picked Hanna up a few hours later to take her to practice, watching through the window before they walked into the classroom. Hanna was playing with her friend Ellie, both of them wearing funny hats and giggling. A couple other kids were playing with them too. 

Nicky opened the classroom door and Hanna grinned when she caught sight of him. “Hi Papa!” 

“Hi. This looks fun.” He said, letting her come over to him. He picked her up and kissed her cheek. “You ready to go?”

“Can I say bye to Ellie first?”

“Sure.” He set her down and chatted with her teacher while Hanna took off her hat and hugged her friend goodbye. 

After skating and lunch, Hanna fell asleep in the car on the way home. Andre followed them back to their house, joining them inside. 

Hanna went back and forth between playing in her room and bringing books to Andre for her to ‘read’ to him. 

“Can she read?” Andre asked, looking surprised. 

“She memorized them.” Nicky explained. 

In a lull when Hanna was off rescuing her stuffed animals from each other, Andre nudged Nicky’s arm. “You look stressed.” He said quietly. “You ok?” 

“Hanna’s been getting...teased at school.” Nicky said in undertones. “Because she’s adopted.”

“Ohhhhh.” Andre breathed, covering his mouth. 

“She was asking about her mom.” Nicky continued. “She’s...I know she can’t really understand it yet.” 

“She looks happy.” Andre said. “She’ll be ok. She’s got you.” Nicky smiled and relaxed when Andre leaned into his side, their arms pressed together. 

Alex thought about getting a hotel room for Nicky’s birthday. That’s what he would’ve done, if they were younger, if they didn’t have a four year old. Alex could tie Nicky to a headboard and take him apart. But, they’d had sex in enough anonymous hotel rooms over the years; there wasn’t much thrill in adding another to that list. 

Instead, Alex had dinner catered in. Their friends and family crowded into the house, filling it with laughter and joy. Nicky gamely allowed himself to be the center of attention, at least for a few hours. 

After most everyone had left, they sat in the living room sipping on drinks and chatting. Hanna was sitting in Mikhail’s lap while Tatiana read to her. Nicky was sitting on the couch beside Alex, his legs thrown over his lap, and his hand resting on Andre’s shoulder where he sat on the floor in front of him. Tom was laying on his back on the rug, tossing one of Hanna’s toy balls up and down. Evgeny was sitting in the chair beside him, trying to kick the ball away with his foot.

Alex went to the kitchen to get a fresh drink, pausing for a moment to brace himself. He had the ring in his pocket. Nicky had already proposed. Twice, in fact. Alex wasn’t asking a question he didn’t know the answer to, but he still felt nervous. 

“Ok?” Evgeny asked, slipping into the room and grabbing a soda from the fridge. _“You going to give him the ring? Or maybe just put it under his pillow?”_

Alex laughed. _“Maybe.”_ He admitted. 

Evgeny rolled his eyes and passed Alex his drink. _“Get on with it.”_ He said with a smile. 

Alex took a gulp and nodded, following Evgeny back into the living room. Nicky looked up at him and smiled, and any remaining nerves Alex had melted away. Nicky always teased him about liking attention; he wasn’t wrong. 

Alex cleared his throat. “One more birthday present left.” He announced, setting his drink aside. 

Nicky tilted his head curiously, looking endearingly confused. “What?”

Alex winked at Hanna and she giggled, covering her mouth. He knelt in front of the couch and pulled the ring from his pocket, holding it out. 

Nicky was trying not to smile- and doing a terrible job of it. “Isn’t three proposals a bit much?” He teased, happiness buoying his tone. 

“No, it’s lucky.” Alex decided flippantly. “Can’t wait until the summer to give it to you. I want you to have it now. ” He slipped the ring on his finger and Nicky examined it carefully, dimples showing on his cheeks. 

“Sasha...it’s beautiful.” Nicky said softly, tracing his fingers over the ring. “Thank you.”

Alex kissed him. Tom whooped loudly and Alex was pretty sure Andre had recorded the whole thing on video. When he pulled back, Hanna was peeking out from behind her fingers. 

“Are you done?” She asked. 

Nicky chuckled, reaching for her and pulling her into his lap. “Never. Do you want to see the ring?”

She grabbed his hand to look at the ring. “It looks even prettier than the pictures, Sasha!” She declared, pushing herself up to kiss Alex’s cheek. 

Nicky looked bemused. “You kept a secret?” 

Hanna rolled her eyes. “Not a secret. A surprise. Ms. Kayla at school says we don’t do secrets.” 

Nicky hugged her tight and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m proud of you.” He whispered. He looked at Alex, beaming with joy. “I love you. This is perfect.” 

After a while, everyone left. Tatiana and Mikhail took Hanna to spend the night. In the morning, the team was flying to Vancouver. In the meantime, Alex and Nicky had the house to themselves. 

Alex squeezed Nicky’s hand. “What you want to do?” He asked. 

Nicky shrugged. “I was thinking a bath sounds nice.” He said, smiling at Alex. 

“Yeah, ok.” He agreed easily, grinning. 

Alex almost fell asleep in the tub, with Nicky leaning back against his chest and the lights turned down low. Nicky had even lit a candle. He held Alex’s hand, absently tracing his finger over the ring on his left hand. 

“Just need flower petals.” Alex teased, kissing the side of Nicky’s head. “Very romantic.”

“Mhm.” Nicky nodded, sinking lower under the water. Alex leaned down and kissed his neck, smiling to himself as Nicky tilted his head to accommodate him. Alex bit down gently and Nicky let out a soft sigh, melting back against him. 

“So easy.” Alex teased. “34 years old, still so easy.” 

Nicky chuckled quietly. “You’re even easier.” He teased, pressing back against Alex’s cock, which was half hard where it was trapped between them. “And even older.” 

“And wiser.” Alex added. 

Nicky snorted. “Sure.” He said, replete with sarcasm. Alex tugged sharply on his hair as his hand made his way to Nicky’s cock. “Oh.” Nicky breathed, arching into his touch. 

Alex smiled to himself. “Ready to get out?” 

“Yeah.” Nicky agreed with a husky voice. 

They were barely towel-dried when Nicky pulled Alex into bed, kissing him. As his tongue slipped into his mouth, one crafty hand crept below Alex’s waist, jacking him off slowly. 

It was leisurely to make out knowing they wouldn’t be interrupted. Alex traced patterns across Nicky’s back, enjoying the warmth of his bare skin. The blond hummed contentedly, looking up at Alex through half-hooded eyes when they broke apart. 

Nicky gave him a lazy grin before he rolled Alex onto his back gently, straddling him. Alex rested his hands on Nicky’s hips and squeezed tight. Nicky stretched to grab the lube and Alex took it from his hands. 

He liked watching Nicky’s face as he worked him open. Nicky tried not to react, tried to keep quiet, a deeply ingrained habit after years with a small child. Alex smirked when Nicky bit down on his lip to stifle a moan as Alex’s fingers twisted. “Fuck, ah, just- just fuck me already.” He protested. 

Alex laughed, his other hand running soothingly over his side. “You think you’re ready?”

“I know.” Nicky said, leaning over to catch Alex’s mouth in a rough kiss, propping himself up on his elbow as he hovered over him. 

Alex shifted, until his cock was pushing at Nicky’s entrance. He sunk back on it, rocking his hips until he had taken Alex completely. Alex groaned, trying to hold still while Nicky adjusted. 

Nicky rode him until Alex was at the brink, until he was right on the edge. He slowed his pace, looking at Alex consideringly. Alex pinched him on the leg, just hard enough to startle a laugh from him. “Don’t tease.” Alex said, panting a bit. 

“What if I just like looking at you?” Nicky said playfully. 

Alex rolled his eyes and made an exaggerated noise of exasperation. “Look at me after I cum.” Nicky was close too, if the wetness leaking down his cock was any indication. Still, he slowed to a stop; anything to pester Alex. Alex hooked a leg around Nicky and rolled him over, trying his best not to slip out as he did. 

Nicky giggled, even as Alex pushed his down into the bed, smiling. “Brat.” Alex said, kissing his neck. “One year older, still a brat.” He bit down hard and Nicky gasped. Alex ground his cock into his ass and all the teasing, all the playfulness was forgotten. 

Years of familiarizing himself with Nicky’s body meant Alex knew just how to twist his wrist, just how to fuck Nicky, to make him cum just before Alex did. He fucked into him hard as his body spasmed and cum spurted onto his stomach. Moments later, Alex came too, kissing Nicky deeply. 

Nicky wrapped his arms around Alex, holding him close. They were both breathing heavily, sweat starting to cool on Alex’s skin. 

Alex pulled out slowly and Nicky made a discontent noise, fumbling to grab for tissues. Alex pulled the blankets up over them, pulling Nicky to his chest and kissing the back of his shoulder. Nicky fidgeted with his wedding band, running his thumb over it and twisting it on his finger. “I love you.” Nicky whispered. 

“I love you too.” 

The road trip dragged on. Alex didn’t want to stop playing hockey, he had no idea what he would do with himself when that day came, but he wasn’t going to miss west coast road trips. They were gone too long and the time difference was enough to mess with his sleep. 

“Why is Sasha not wearing a shirt?” Hanna asked, a little too close to the camera. Tatiana laughed in the background. 

Nicky glanced over his shoulder at Alex as he came out of the bathroom, shirt in hand. “He got toothpaste on it.” He lied, hair still wet from the shower they’d shared. 

Alex flopped down on the bed beside Nicky, grinning at Hanna. “Hi, Solnyshka.” He said. “Hi mama.” 

“Hi, Sasha.” Hanna bounced a bit, excited.

“You have fun at school today?”

“Uh huh. We learned about dinosaurs!” 

“What did you learn?” Nicky asked. 

“They’re really big. And they eat leaves. And...the babies come from eggs, like birds.” Hanna explained. “And some of them had feathers!”

“Sound like chickens.” Alex teased. 

Hanna sighed. “Chickens aren’t dinosaurs.” She said matter-of-factly. “Dinosaurs are ex- ex- gone.” She stumbled over the words. 

Nicky smiled fondly. “Extinct.”

“Eggs-stink.” Hanna repeated, with a giggle. “Can we do story time now?”

The latest ritual they’d started was reading a bedtime story. It took a bit of coordination, making sure Nicky brought the right book with them and that Tatiana had another copy, but it was undoubtedly Alex’s favorite part of road trips. He and Nicky took turns reading page by page as Hanna followed along. 

Sometimes, like tonight, she fell asleep by the end of the book. They watched as Tatiana pulled the covers up over her shoulders and kissed her forehead before turning out the light and closing the door behind her as she left. 

“Thank you.” Nicky said, smiling. “I appreciate this.”

Tatiana tutted at him softly. “Is family, Nicklas. Is what we do.” She smiled. “Don’t do bad things in your game. Hanna wants to watch in the morning.” 

“I only do good.” Alex said, grinning as his mother rolled her eyes. “Nicky, he’s always in trouble, you know.” 

“Of course.” She deadpanned. Nicky chuckled and pushed at Alex. 

Hanna maybe wouldn’t get to watch the game, Alex decided later from the penalty box. He slouched back, holding an ice-pack to his bloodied knuckles. 

Alex didn’t fight often; he was the captain, he needed to be setting an example for his team. But, sometimes fighting was the way to do that. 

He could feel the icy stare Nicky was leveling him from across the rink. Alex didn’t really want to talk to him yet. If Nicky wanted to wait until every team in the league had had a run at him and found it didn’t change anything, fine- but Alex couldn’t do that. Alex’s blood had been boiling since the first time someone touched Nicky and he finally had to do something. 

The opposing player had gotten kicked out of the game for unsportsmanlike conduct; Alex thought that was telling. 

Nicky clearly didn’t. 

“What the fuck was that about?” Nicky hissed, stopping him just outside the locker room. 

“Tired of hearing that shit.” Alex shrugged. 

“I don’t need you to protect me.” Nicky said, words dripping with venom. 

“I know-“

“Then don’t!” 

“Not just about you.” Alex said, tone harsher than he intended. “They say shit, they hit, I get tired of it.” 

Nicky pursed his lips. “You’re not doing any good if you sit in the box all night.” He crossed his arms. “The team needs you skating.”

Alex snorted; they were up by three going into the third. “Don’t need me.” He said, even though he knew Nicky was still steaming. 

Nicky lowered his voice, quietly livid. “If Wilso had-“

“He didn’t. I did. Sick of it.” Alex interrupted. 

Nicky ground his teeth together, glaring at him wordlessly before storming off into the locker room. Nicky was quiet, but he was the heart of the team. Alex should’ve stopped him, should’ve made him calm down before he went in; it frightened the children if they thought their parents were fighting. 

Nicky was a grenade ready to explode. Everyone eyed him carefully, and no one said a word. 

They won, in the end, which Alex thought was the important thing. They won, but they still weren’t going home. They were heading for Arizona next. 

Nicky spent the rest of the road trip quietly biding his time, biting his tongue around Alex to keep himself from saying something. Alex knew he was mad he’d started a fight, mad Alex had let their personal relationship jeopardize the team. Maybe he was even mad about the hypocrisy of Alex fighting and telling Tom he couldn’t. 

Alex wasn’t sure; after all this time, he still couldn’t read Nicky’s mind. 

Alex sat down heavily beside him on the plane. Nicky stared out the window pointedly, avoiding Alex as best he could. After take off, when the engines provided enough background noise to muffle a private conversation, he looked at Alex. 

“If Hanna asks why you started a fight, you have to answer her.” Nicky said, hands fidgeting. 

“Fine.”

“And if she starts fighting-“

“She won’t. She’s too good.”

Nicky’s mouth twisted into a frown. “You cannot tell her fighting is ok.” 

“Have to fight, if someone hits me.” 

“No one hit you.” Nicky whispered, narrowing his eyes. “You just gave in.”

“He said-“

“I don’t give a shit what he said.” Nicky finally snapped. “I don’t care. He says something, and you go to the box for 5 minutes. So they know that works now. They know you- know you’re easy to make fight.” 

“That’s not-“

“You’re the captain. Fucking act like it.” Nicky said, hands balled up in his sleeves tight. “You’re lucky you didn’t get hurt.”

And- oh. There is was. At the core of everything, underneath his boiling ire, there was fear. Of course Nicky worried Alex would get hurt, of course Nicky hated to see him fight. Alex’s anger softened a bit. 

“Fine. Won’t start fights.” Nicky raised his eyebrows. “Can’t just skate away if someone else starts it.” Alex shrugged. 

Nicky finally cracked a smile, thin and beleaguered. “I guess not.” He agreed. 

Hanna asked about the fight almost as soon as they got home. “Sasha, why did you hit someone?”

Alex looked at his mother, who smiled apologetically. “They showed on highlights afterwards.” She explained. “I tried to skip.”

Nicky shook his head. “It’s ok.” He said to her. 

Hanna tugged on his sleeve. “Sasha…” 

Alex picked her up. “I got mad and hit him.” He started. “Not good to do, though. I got in trouble.” He glanced at Nicky, watching him roll his eyes when Hanna couldn’t see. 

“You had to do two minutes?” She asked. 

“Five minutes.” He said. 

Her eyes widened. “Oh.” She blinked. “That’s bad.” 

Alex chuckled. “Yeah, it was. It’s not good to fight. It didn’t...it didn’t make me less mad. Made my teammates have to work harder, because I got mad.” 

She patted his shoulder. “No more fights, ok?” 

Alex kissed her cheek. “What about pillow fights?”

“That’s not the same.” She giggled. “No more fights?” She touched his bruised knuckles and looked up at him, her little face worried. 

“I do my best, I promise.” 

She hugged him tight. “Thank you.” 

Alex’s hands were still bruised when they put up Christmas decorations two days later. Nicky loved Christmas more than anyone else Alex knew, except for maybe Hanna. 

Hanna bounced up and down on her toes as Alex and Nicky set the tree in its stand. It was tall and silvery; Nicky’s allergies didn’t agree with live trees, they’d learned. 

Hanna crossed her arms. “Shouldn’t it be green?” She asked, looking skeptical. 

Nicky pressed his lips together trying to keep from smiling. “No, I like this.”

“But trees are green.” Hanna said. Alex picked her up, hoping to distract her by handing her the star. She carefully placed it on top of the tree, though it leaned to the side. Alex resisted the urge to straighten it out. “And this tree is...not. I think it’s dead.” 

Nicky snickered, breaking into a fond smile. “It’s not dead. It’s...it’s just pretty. Do you remember what it looked like last year?” Hanna shook her head. “Do you want to turn on the lights?”

“Yeah.” 

Alex set her down and Nicky showed her where the switch was. Alex watched her face as she turned on lights and looked up in amazement as the tree came alive with shimmering lights. 

“Do you like it now?” Nicky asked quietly, kneeling beside her. 

“Uh huh.” She nodded. “It’s so shiny.” She said, still staring in awe. 

“Very pretty.” Alex declared. “But needs ornaments.” They’d amassed a wealth of ornaments from Alex and Nicky’s childhoods, as well as Hanna’s growing collection.

By the time they’d finished decorating, it was bedtime. Hanna frowned when Nicky reminded her. “Do I have to go to bed?” She asked, even as she rubbed her eyes. 

Nicky looked thoughtful, like he was considering it. The next day was Saturday and they didn’t have anything scheduled, not even an optional. “Why do you want to stay up?”

“We could watch Donald Duck?” Hanna offered. Alex watched as Nicky smiled wider at her and knew he was going to give in soon. 

“That’s a pretty good reason.” Nicky said slowly. Hanna laughed and hugged him tight. 

“And we can have hot chocolate?” She asked. 

Nicky laughed. “Yeah, ok.” He yielded easily. 

Soon, they were settled on the couch with hot chocolate and blankets, Hanna snuggled in between Alex and Nicky. Alex was still learning Swedish, but he did understand at least half of the Christmas special- some of that came from simply watching it a few times every Christmas season. 

Hanna barely made it halfway into the show, falling asleep against Nicky’s chest. The blond hugged her close, watching her instead of the TV. It wasn’t just the hot chocolate that made Alex feel warm all the way down to his core. 

“I’m sort of...happy my parents aren’t coming for Christmas.” Nicky said softly. 

“Oh?”

Nicky smiled at him. “They stress everyone, I think. This is...this is nice.” He gestured to Hanna and Alex. “I don’t have to worry about them being upset.” 

“Yeah, true.” Alex agreed. “Maybe it will snow this year.”

“Mm. That would be nice.” Nicky said, carding his fingers over Hanna’s hair. 

It didn’t snow for Christmas. It was 40° outside and rained non-stop. Alex watched it out the window, thinking longingly of Christmases when he was a kid, when the snow was up to his knees sometimes. 

Tatiana and Mikhail came over after breakfast. Hanna was practically vibrating with excitement in her new Christmas pajamas she’d received the night before. She threw herself into Mikhail's arms. “Dedushka! Dedushka! Santa was here! He ate the cookies!” 

Santa might not have, but Alex had enjoyed them.

“He was?!” Mikhail asked, eyes sparkling. “How are you know?”

Hanna pointed to the tree. “He left presents! Look! There’s presents for everyone!” She squirmed out of his arms. “Can we open them, please?” She asked, looking up at Nicky. 

Nicky smiled, sitting perched on the edge of the sofa. “Yeah. Can you help Sasha sort them?” He asked. 

They opened gifts, but not quickly enough for a four year old who’d had chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. After everything had been opened, Hanna looked at Nicky. “Can I give it to him now?” She asked, bouncing impatiently. 

“Yeah.” Nicky nodded. 

“Sasha, don’t move!” Hanna said, racing upstairs. 

Alex looked at Nicky curiously. “What’s she doing?” He asked. 

“I guess she has a present for you.” Nicky said mildly, giving a sly smirk. Alex shook his head and leaned back against the sofa, waiting. Soon, Hanna came back downstairs, holding a sloppily wrapped box in hand. 

“Is this from Santa?” Alex asked, accepting it. 

Hanna laughed. “No, it’s from me.” She stood beside him and watched as he opened it, peeling away a long strand of tape.

Inside the box was a coffee mug. On one side it said ‘World’s Best Dad’ and on the other side it had what appeared to be Hanna’s handprint. Alex felt a lump form in his throat almost immediately. 

Hanna rocked back and forth on her toes. “It says world's best dad.” She explained. “Because...because you’re my daddy. Or...if you still want, you can be.” 

Alex hugged her tight, tears leaking down his cheeks. “I want. I love it. Thank you.” She hugged him back. 

“Why are you crying?” She asked, trying and failing to really whisper. 

Alex laughed, wiping his face. Across the room, his mother looked like she was about to cry and his own father’s eyes were shining too. Even Nicky was blinking back tears and he’d known this was coming. “Happy tears. You make me so happy.” 

She touched his cheek with her hand. “Merry Christmas, Daddy.” She grinned. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” He said, voice cracking, pulling her closer. Nicky squeezed his shoulder, rubbing a hand across his back comfortingly. 

After presents, Hanna picked a Christmas movie to watch. She cuddled up in Alex’s lap. Beside him, Nicky laid down, resting his head against Alex’s thigh. Hanna reached down to play with his hair and Nicky closed his eyes, deeply content. Alex couldn’t stop smiling; his heart felt so full and happy. 

The next day was spent in pajamas, alternating between playing with Hanna’s new building blocks and watching the four year old stare wistfully out the window. “Will it ever snow?” She asked, pressing her nose against the glass, breath fogging it up. 

“Never.” Nicky said, stretching out on his side to look at her. “No more snow, just around you.”

“Papa…” she whined. 

“You’re the opposite of Elsa.” Nicky teased fondly, his eyes twinkling. 

Hanna groaned, even as she smiled at him. “You’re silly.” She paused. “Can we watch Frozen?”

Alex frowned at Nicky. “You had to say. I just got the song out of my head.” 

Nicky giggled, covering his mouth to muffle the sound. “Sorry.” 

“Not sorry.” Alex grumbled. But, he couldn’t complain too much, even though they were watching Frozen again. Nicky cuddled up beside him and Hanna sat in his lap. Eventually, Nicky dozed off, sleeping through the rest of the movie. 

As the ending credits rolled, Hanna looked at Alex. “Sasha? Daddy?”

“Yeah?” He asked, smiling. 

“Papa’s being a bear. Look.” She tried to move away and Nicky held her tighter. 

“You’re stuck forever.” Alex said playfully. 

Hanna bit her lip. “But I hafta go potty.” She said, trying to pull away again. 

“Ok. I help.” Alex said, slipping his hand under Nicky’s arm and pulling it aside. Hanna slipped out and rushed to the bathroom. Nicky sighed in his sleep, forehead wrinkling as he frowned slightly. Alex snuggled him close, grabbing the remote to switch the TV to anything without catchy songs. 

By mid-January, things had settled down a bit. Their relationship wasn’t as exciting to the press anymore, and people had mostly stopped saying anything about it during games. Now, when Nicky took elbows or got shoved, it was because of his play and typically not because Alex shared his bed. 

They were in Dallas when Alex got hurt. He lost an edge going into the corner, one of the Stars too close behind him to stop. He knew it was going to hurt but he couldn’t brace himself. 

Next thing he knew, Nicky was leaning over him, holding his hand. “Don’t move.” He said. 

Alex groaned. “I’m fine.” He protested, sitting up. The world swam before his eyes but Nicky kept him from tipping sideways. 

“Don’t be stupid.” Nicky said in undertones. “Wait for the doctor.” 

Alex did; if he stood up, there was a very real possibility he would fall over. Still, he knew people were watching him, knew the cameras were on him, so he tried his best to look relaxed and casual. 

(Later, when he saw pictures, he realized he’d failed. He looked dazed and lost and Nicky had worry etched across his face.)

Nicky lingered beside him as the medical staff started asking him questions. Alex had never had a concussion, but he assumed that’s what this was. The world was thick and foggy, things that should’ve been easy to focus on were hard to follow. Nicky’s hand on his shoulder was the only thing keeping him grounded. 

The ice tilted and twisted as he stood and Oshie stepped in beside him to make sure he didn’t fall. Alex closed his eyes, feeling sick. Even with his teammates beside him, he felt precariously balanced. For the first time in his life, he wished he wasn’t wearing skates. 

He became aware Nicky was talking and he finally managed to make out the words. “...it’ll be ok. I’ll come find you after the game.” 

Alex couldn’t nod, not without fear of throwing up. He knew Nicky was worried, though; knew Nicky would continue to worry unless Alex distracted him. “Better win.” He said. Beside him, TJ laughed. “You think...think they give me coke?” 

Nicky finally smiled at him, small and fond. “You’re an idiot.” He said quietly. “I love you.” 

“Love you too.” Alex said as they reached the threshold. 

Alex didn’t watch the rest of the game. Instead, he let the doctors examine him and ask him a million questions. His head pounded and they gave him medicine. He felt mostly human by the time Nicky slipped into the quiet room, shutting the door softly behind him. 

“Hey.” Nicky said, leaning against the door with his hands behind him. 

“Hey.” Alex said, opening his eyes. 

“You get your coke?” Nicky teased, his voice gentle as he slowly stepped closer. 

“No, doctors too mean.” He said. He laughed when Nicky produced two cans of soda. “Best.”

“Don’t tell them.” Nicky said, sitting on the edge of the exam table beside him. Alex sat up slowly, feeling groggy. “You ok?” He asked. 

“Concussion. Not too bad.” He took a sip of his soda. “Gonna send me home.” 

Nicky nodded. “I’m sorry.” 

“You didn’t do it.” Alex said, shrugging his shoulders. “Gonna go let Hanna take care of me.” 

Nicky smiled. “Good.” He swung his feet back and forth. 

“You gonna miss me?” He teased. 

Nicky rolled his eyes. “Eh, we’ll make do.” He said, squeezing Alex’s hand. “You’re old anyway.”

Laughing hard made Alex a bit dizzy, but he did it anyway. “Washed up.” He agreed, gleeful to be being teased instead of treated like he was fragile. “Even worse than you.” He poked Nicky’s side. 

Nicky squirmed away, ticklish. He looked at Alex consideringly, reaching out a hand and pushing his hair back off his forehead. His gaze softened and his playful demeanor slipped away. “Are you really ok?” He asked. 

Alex shrugged. “Head hurts, tired, dizzy.” He admitted. “But not too bad.” 

He slept hard that night, with Nicky’s body pressed against him and his arms wrapped around him tight. Nicky kissed him awake in the morning and Alex blinked, trying to clear his head. “I have to go. They said they texted you stuff for your flight.” 

Alex nodded, closing his eyes and catching Nicky’s hand in his. “Thanks.” He said. “Gonna miss you.”

Nicky sank back down into the bed. “Gonna miss you too.” He whispered, kissing him again. 

Alex mostly slept on the plane ride home. He remembered when they’d been young and he’d been baffled that Nicky had mistaken a concussion for a migraine; now, he thought he understood a bit better. He felt sick, like his energy had been depleted. He wanted to sleep. His head was throbbing by the time he reached his parents house- the thought of going home to an empty house wasn’t something he could handle. 

As he opened the door, he wondered if anyone had explained what happened to Hanna. 

“Daddy?” She asked, looking up from a picture book. She was wearing his jersey, the sleeves a bit long. “Babu said you got sick.” 

Alex nodded. “Yeah. I have a headache.” He flopped down on the couch, patting the space beside him. She crawled up next to him. Alex could hear his parents in the kitchen. 

“Oh.” She snuggled up next to him and stretched to kiss the side of his head. “Better?”

“Much.” He said, smiling. “You want to watch your papa play tonight?” 

Hanna chewed on her lip. “Babu said I hafta go to bed.” 

Alex was not about to argue with his mother about bedtimes. “We watch him tomorrow, ok?” 

Hanna beamed at him. “Ok!” 

Tatiana stepped into the living room to look at him. “How are you feeling?” She asked. 

“Not great, but not that bad.” Alex shrugged. “Tired.” He admitted. 

She touched his forehead as though checking for a fever, smoothing her hand over his hair. “Go rest.” She decided. 

Alex gestured at the couch and Hanna. “Resting here.” 

She considered it for a moment and nodded. “Ok. But rest. Can you do TVs?” 

“They didn’t say not to.” Alex said. “Phone’s ok, TV is probably ok too.” 

Tatiana nodded and kissed his forehead and then Hanna’s before wandering off to do something; his mother had never been the kind of person who could sit still. Alex wasn’t usually either, but he had a concussion. 

Alex spent days laying on the couch doing nothing. He felt sick, he felt dizzy. He wanted to move, but movement made it worse. He was getting better, but progress was gradual and moment-to-moment he couldn’t readily identify it. 

On Saturday, Hanna snuggled up with him on the couch with a bowl of popcorn to watch the game. They were both wearing Backstrom jerseys and had sent Nicky a picture that morning. Alex was feeling better, almost normal. He’d had an appointment the day before; if he continued to improve, he should be playing again in a week. 

But, he wasn’t. 

Headaches plagued him. He wasn’t shaking it off like he’d thought he’d be able to and there was nothing he could do about it. For the first time ever, Alex really considered if he would be able to keep playing. 

He knew, logically, that he would have to retire at some point. He knew his body couldn’t play forever. But he always thought he’d feel ready when that happened. He never imagined the choice would be made for him, never thought he would be powerless when faced with the possible end of his career. 

Nicky was treading lightly around him, either because of the headaches or because of Alex’s delicate emotions. Either way, he hated it. 

Alex slammed the pantry door shut, anger bubbling up. “Don’t have to treat me like I’m broken!” He snapped. 

Nicky looked momentarily stunned before he found his footing. “I’m not-“

“You don’t talk about hockey now, you don’t talk about team-“

“I’m trying not-“

“Not dying!” Alex kept going. His anger made his face burn hot, made his hands shake. His head pounded. He’d been bottled up and it felt good to explode. “You act like- like I’m not coming back! I’m coming back.”

“I know.” Nicky said, but his face was still twisted with sympathy and for a moment, Alex hated it. 

“You don’t!” He couldn’t know, because no one did and it was driving Alex insane. “You- you-“ Alex floundered, momentarily. “You act like I’m going to fall apart.”

“Sasha…” Nicky said, but he didn’t move. Alex was falling apart, granted, but that wasn’t the point. The point was that Nicky should know better than to treat him with kid gloves; Nicky should know what he needed. 

“No! Tired of it. Everyone acts like I can’t- like I can’t do anything.” Alex said bitterly. “You act like I can’t do anything.” 

Nicky didn’t retaliate, and that made Alex livid, because it meant he was right and they were all treating him like he was fragile. He wasn’t paranoid after all. 

Nicky turned to walk away. Alex grabbed his arm to stop him and Nicky flinched. 

He flinched. 

Alex felt sick, suddenly, his anger collapsing like a deflated hot air balloon. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, eyes suddenly hot with tears. “Fuck, Nicky...I’m sorry.” 

It wasn’t Nicky’s fault he couldn’t play. Nicky was doing his best, balancing Alex, and Hanna, and the team. Nicky stepped up in Alex’s absence, or so he’d heard from the boys. Nicky had stepped up on the ice, trying to keep them moving forward. 

“I know.” Nicky said quietly. 

“I just…”

“I know.” Nicky assured him. He leaned into Alex, hugging him. “I know.” 

“Shouldn’t yell at you.” Alex said. 

“It’s ok.” Nicky whispered, before he smirked. “Your brain’s still scrambled.” 

Alex laughed and hugged him tight. “Good excuse, I guess.”

Nicky nodded, pulling away enough to look him in the eyes. “Yeah. For a few more days.” Alex appreciated the vote of confidence, even if he was being pandered to. 

“Yeah.” Alex nodded. “A few more days.”

It was more like a week, but he finally got to rejoin the team for practices. Everyone was happy. 

Everyone except Hanna. “But I like watching with you.” She whined, pouting a bit. 

Alex honestly hadn’t expected this and he felt amused and sad in equal parts. He picked her up. “I score lots of goals, just for you, ok?” He promised. 

Hanna considered it, still frowning. “Fine, I guess.” 

Hanna recovered from her brief angst when Tatiana and Mikhail brought her to a game and they sat along the glass. Alex and Nicky went through their pre-game routine of skating over to the glass and pressing their hands to it. 

It was a little bit of luck that Alex scored on the powerplay, off a pass from Nicky no less, on the same side his family was sitting on. He turned towards the glass, watching Hanna jump up and down. He banged on the glass beside her and she laughed brightly. Nicky joined him; it was perfect. 

The game went to overtime and then to a shootout, which they finally won in the 6th round. Andre scored the game-winning goal. 

When Hanna entered the locker room, Andre scooped her up and spun her around. “Did you see that?” He asked. 

She giggled. “Maymay, you’re making me spinny.” She said, hugging him tight. 

He stopped, grinning. “Did you like my goal?”

“Yeah.” She agreed. “You scored, Daddy scored...Papa needs to score next.” Andre laughed. 

“Papa got two assists. Even better than scoring.” Alex said, grinning at Nicky. “Means he helped someone else.” 

“Twice.” Nicky said, leaning back and smiling. 

Hanna nodded. “Oh, ok. Good job, Papa.” 

“Thank you.” Nicky said, holding out his arms for her. Andre set her down and she clambered up into Nicky’s lap. “It’s very late. Are you sleepy?” 

“No.” Hanna said quickly, ruining it with a yawn. 

“Of course.” Nicky agreed amicably. “Why would you be?” 

Hanna scrunched up her nose at him. “Papa…” she frowned. 

“Well, Sasha is tired.” Nicky said, running his fingers over her hair, smoothing out a rogue curl. “So we should take him home.”

Hanna looked at Alex suspiciously and he gave a dramatic yawn. She giggled. “Can I read you a bedtime story?” She asked. 

Alex chuckled. “That sounds good. You put me to bed tonight.”

Hanna managed to stay awake on the car ride home, kicking her feet and humming to herself. Nicky herded them both inside, fixing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the three of them. 

They ate in relative silence. After they’d finished, Nicky put their dishes in the dishwasher and smiled at them both. “Teeth, then pajamas.” He said. 

Hanna drug her feet going upstairs. Alex lingered in the kitchen to kiss the taste of jelly out of Nicky’s mouth. Nicky’s thumb stroked over his cheek as he held his head, pulling back to catch a breath. “You feel ok?” He asked. 

Alex had been checked and rechecked, examined and prodded, but Nicky still needed to hear it for himself. “I’m ok. Tired.” He admitted. 

Nicky grinned, kissing him tenderly. “Ok.” He said between kisses. “I’m glad you’re back.”

“Me too.” Alex said, wrapping his arms around Nicky’s waist, holding him close. 

“Papa?” Hanna called from the top of the stairs. “Daddy? I’m done with my teeth.” She announced. 

Nicky giggled. “You ready for teeth too?” He teased him. 

Alex pretended to pout. “Do I have to?”

Nicky swatted at him gently. “Stop it.” He laughed. 

In short order, they’d brushed their teeth and put on pajamas. Alex laid in bed, and Hanna sat beside him, book laid out in her lap. 

She recited it from memory as best she could, improvising as needed. Alex had to close his eyes and bite his lip to keep from laughing when she went off script. 

“And then…the giraffe ate the zebra.” She decided. 

Nicky snorted. “He what?” He asked, leaning close to look over her shoulder, as though checking what page she was on (as though Nicky couldn’t recite this book in his sleep). 

“He ate the zebra.” She said, matter-of-factly. 

Nicky tried to keep a straight face. “I don’t think that’s what happened.” He said slowly. 

Hanna looked down at the page and then back up. “It’s a different story now.”

“Apparently.” Nicky agreed, leaning back against the headboard. Alex covered his mouth, barely holding back laughter. “What happens now?” 

Hanna turned the page. “Then the giraffe had to go do teeth.” Alex lost it. Hanna gave him a stern look. “Shh. You’re sleeping.” 

Nicky giggled. “He just likes your story.” He said. 

Eventually, the giraffe went to bed because it had school the next day, or at least that’s how Alex thought the story ended. He dozed off at some point and when he awoke, Hanna was sleeping between them in bed. 

Alex kissed the top of her head and draped his arm over her to touch Nicky, before falling back to sleep. 

He woke up in the morning when Hanna wriggled to try to escape Nicky’s hold on her. 

“Is Papa being a bear?” Alex asked, smiling at her sleepily. Her hair was all askew and she had a crease on her face from the pillow. 

“Yes! Look.” She whispered loudly. She poked Nicky’s nose and he grumbled in his sleep. “He’s a big bear.” 

“But he’s cute.” Alex said, smile growing as Hanna shook her head. “I think he’s cute.”

“He’s squishing me.” Hanna said, eyes wide; Alex wasn’t sure where her sense of dramatics had come from, but he was willing to blame Andre. 

“Maybe make you little again.” Alex teased. 

“Daddy…” Hanna sighed. “I can’t be little again. I’m already big.” 

Nicky was awake enough to smile, his hair falling across his face, but Hanna couldn’t see that. “Maybe try tickling him.” Alex suggested. 

Hanna tickled Nicky and Nicky stayed still for a second before tickling her back. She shrieked with laughter. “Papa! No, bears don’t tickle!” 

“Do bears make waffles?” Alex asked. 

Hanna stilled. “No. But he’s not a bear now.” 

Nicky stretched, his back popping as he did. “Now I’m popcorn.” He said dryly. 

Alex chuckled. “Just old.” 

Hanna, not one to be easily distracted, ignored them. “Waffles?” 

In February, the press started to ask them more questions about their relationship; Valentine’s Day was fast approaching and with a couple key players out with injury, they wanted something cheerful to talk about. 

If only Valentine’s Day wasn’t cursed. 

Maybe it wasn’t for other people, but it was for Alex and Nicky. The first year, Hanna had been sick. The second year, they’d been stuck in an airport in Calgary, all the planes grounded due to snow. The third year- Alex didn’t even want to think about that. 

“Maybe something small.” He told the reporters after the game. “Valentine’s...not very lucky for us.” 

He wasn’t really sure what he was going to do for Nicklas “please don’t buy flowers, we just watch them die” Backstrom. 

“They ask you about Valentine’s Day?” Alex asked Nicky as they walked down the hall away from the locker room. 

Nicky smiled, chuckling slightly. “Yeah.” He glanced at Alex. “I told them you tried to kill me last year.” 

Alex rolled his eyes. “Didn’t even go to hospital.” He said, though he still felt slightly guilty. 

Nicky raised his eyebrows. “I missed practice.” He pointed out. 

“You didn’t say allergic to raspberry. How am I supposed to know if you don’t say?” Alex countered. 

Nicky smiled at him, dimples in his cheeks. “What do you want to do this year?” He said, changing the subject. 

Alex shrugged. “Playing. Maybe I just get you a goal.” Nicky hadn’t scored in five games, which wasn’t really a drought unless you were the media, especially since the Swede has tallied 7 assists in that time. 

“That would be nice.” Nicky agreed demurely. 

Alex thought they’d make it through Valentine’s Day and then have a nice dinner the next night. Maybe if they didn’t make plans for the actual day, they could avoid the curse. 

Alex was wrong, of course, but he was feeling optimistic. 

Nicky didn’t miss games, not unless he absolutely had to. He hadn’t missed a game since he’s broken his hand in the Stanley cup run. Before that, the last time he’d missed a game was when Hanna had been born. It was a point of pride for him. Nicky was steady and sturdy, dependable. 

And sometimes stubborn. 

“You gonna play?” Alex asked. 

Nicky looked up, eyes bloodshot and nose pink. “I’m fine.” He said, turning to cough into his elbow. 

Alex reached out to press a hand to his forehead and Nicky didn’t pull away, which was telling on its own. “Too hot.” He said. 

Nicky forced a smile. “Thought you liked that.” He said, his voice rough. 

Alex rolled his eyes. “Ridiculous.” He said. What had been a fever, cough, and three days home from school for Hanna was proving to be much harder on Nicky. “Drink lots of water.” 

“I’m fine.” Nicky repeated, sounding mildly exasperated with the attention. 

Nicky was fine, and Alex was the czar of Russia. 

By the second intermission, it was all anyone could do to avoid looking at him as coughing fits shook his body. Alex pressed a Gatorade bottle into his hands and Nicky drank half of it before the coughing resumed and he stepped out of the room to avoid interrupting the coach speaking. 

Andre glanced at Alex. “Is he ok?” He whispered. 

Alex shrugged. “Says he is.” 

Andre shifted closer. “Should someone check on him?” He asked, eyeing Alex expectantly. 

“Yeah, probably.” Alex agreed. “I go check on him.”

Nicky was leaning over the sink, bright red splotches on his cheeks. He closed his eyes as Alex came in. “I know you’re fine.” Alex said, leaning against the counter beside him. “But Burky, he worries.”

“I bet.” Nicky said hoarsely. 

“One more period.” Alex said. “Then I take you home. No optional tomorrow.” 

“Yeah, ok.” Nicky said, arms shaking. “Ok.”

There were a lot of things Alex wanted to do and none of them involved letting Nicky back out onto the ice, but he did anyway. Nicky was an adult, maybe a stupidly bullheaded one at times, but he could make his own decisions. 

After the game, after the press, Nicky stayed rooted in his stall until Alex came up to him, shoes already on. “You ready to go home?” 

Nicky nodded, muffling a painful sounding cough in his elbow. “I’m sorry.” He rasped. 

Alex’s lingering irritation about Nicky not taking care of himself melted away; he knew he would do the same thing, if he had to. “Not your fault you get sick.”

“I mean about…” he coughed again, closing his eyes tight. “About Valentine’s Day.” 

Alex laughed. “Next year, we don’t make any plans. Maybe just hide inside.” 

Nicky smiled, his eyes glassy and cheeks red. “Yeah, ok.” 

Andre appeared beside them to help carry bags out to the car, providing additional support for Nicky when he swayed unsteadily on his feet. 

“Thank you.” Nicky said as Andre deposited him into the passenger seat. The younger man smiled at him. 

“Feel better, Papa.” He laughed, patting his shoulder. 

At home, Tatiana shook her head at Nicky when he sank down into the couch, exhausted. “You need to rest.” She chided him gently, feeling his forehead and pushing back damp curls. “Can’t take care of Hanna if you can’t take care of you.” 

Nicky cleared his throat, grimacing. “Is she ok?” He asked hoarsely. 

Tatiana ran her hand over his hair again. “She’s ok. You, not so much.” She smiled wryly at him. 

“Does she still...have a fever?” Nicky asked, coughing hard. 

“A little. Gave her Tylenol, put her to bed early.” Tatiana said. “You’re not skating tomorrow.” 

Alex returned from the kitchen with medicine and Gatorade. “No, tomorrow he sleeps all day.” He said cheerfully, smiling at his mother. 

In the morning Alex left Nicky and Hanna on the couch watching Disney movies, both in their pajamas, and went to the optional skate. On the way home, he stopped by the grocery store to pick up a few things.

As he carried bags in, he paused in the doorway to smile at the sight of the two of them asleep, the TV playing quietly in the background. He slipped into the kitchen and set to work making soup, his mother’s recipe on the counter. 

By the time it was starting to come together, Hanna stumbled into the kitchen, hair a mess and wearing footie pajamas. “Daddy?” She asked, rubbing her eyes. 

Alex smiled. “Hi, Solnyshka.” He picked her up and kissed her forehead before she snuggled closer. “You feel ok?”

“My head hurts.” She said softly. “And my neck. And my everything.” 

“You need more medicine.” He decided, checking the time. 

Hanna whined. “It tastes bad.” She protested, tearing up. 

Alex rubbed her back. “I know. You take medicine, then you can have soup, ok?” 

She sniffled, considering the offer. “With chicken?” 

Alex chuckled, grabbing the bottle from the top shelf of the pantry. “Of course with chicken.” He promised. 

Hanna took her medicine, but not without some reluctance and sputtering. Alex gave her a cup of juice to wash it down with and then, because he wasn’t a liar, a bowl of soup. 

“Papa is sick too.” She said. As far as Hanna had known, Nicky had been healthy when he’d left the day before. 

“Yeah.” 

“Is that why he didn’t go to hockey?” She asked, stirring her spoon and fishing out a carrot to eat by itself. 

“Yeah. He stayed home because he doesn’t feel good.” Alex agreed. 

“Oh. Ok.” She nodded, kicking her feet. “Did I make him sick?” She asked. 

Alex shook his head. “No, just...just germs. Sometimes they make people sick.” 

Hanna nodded. “Ok.” 

Nicky eventually stumbled into the kitchen, eyes bright with fever. He slumped into the seat beside Hanna. 

Alex frowned. “Nicky?” 

“Hi.” Nicky said, or tried too at least. His voice was weak and barely louder than a whisper. He leaned forward on his elbows, looking moments away from falling over. 

“You feel ok?” Alex asked. Nicky’s eyes darted to look at Hanna, who was watching him worriedly, and then nodded. Alex frowned, reaching out to feel for a fever. “Medicine.” He decided. 

Nicky nodded. “Ok. Shower.” He said, standing on shaky legs. 

Alex waited until Hanna had finished her soup before going to check on Nicky. He had heard the shower turn off, but Nicky had yet to come downstairs again. The blond was curled up around a pillow, coughs muffled in it. 

“You need doctor?” Alex asked, sitting in the bed beside him. 

“No.” Nicky whispered, eyes shut tight. “I’m ok.”

Nicky only had a marginally stronger voice when they left for New York, but he stubbornly insisted he was fine. That said, the blond snuggled up with Alex on the plane, shivering. Alex pushed up the arm rest between them and let Nicky curl up in his lap. 

Alex twirled a lock of Nicky’s hair around his finger, playing on his phone with the other hand. He was scrolling through Instagram when a thought occurred to him. “We should get married in August.” 

Nicky cracked open one eye to look at him. “Why?” He asked, wincing as his voice cracked. 

Alex smiled. “We get married on the 19th.” He explained, elaborating when Nicky looked confused. “8 and 19.” 

Nicky groaned. “I don’t know. Might be dead then.” He closed his eyes again. 

Alex chuckled, ruffling his hair. “It’s Friday. Get married on Friday, party all weekend.” 

“Yeah.” Nicky nodded. “Ok.” There was a tiny smile tugging on his lips, something barely noticeable unless you knew what to look for. “8/19.” 

Alex decided to press his luck. “We get married at a beach?” He asked, grinning. 

“No.” Nicky said. “God no.” 

Alex laughed. “Boring. Where should we get married?”

Nicky struggled to roll onto his back, looking up at Alex and squinting at the light. “How can you think about marrying me like this?” He coughed hard, flailing a bit to sit up so he could catch his breath. 

Alex rubbed his back. “Have to do it before you die from the plague.” He teased. 

Wedding plans fell into place slowly over the next few weeks, with Hannah as their primary consultant. Alex had suggested they hire an event planner; that’s what he’d done before. 

Nicky froze, except for his eyes, searching Alex for something. “Oh. I forgot...I forgot you did this, before.” He said quietly. 

Alex squeezed his hand. “Didn’t plan much.” He said. 

“I- we don’t need to hire someone, do we?” He asked. 

Alex shook his head. “We can do it.” He said confidently, like he actually knew what he was talking about. 

Which was why Hanna was the first person Alex asked when he eventually decided to pick colors (or a theme, or whatever he was actually doing). 

Hanna didn’t look up from her coloring book, where she scribbled without regard for the intended picture. “Pink and green.” 

“Pink AND green?” Alex asked skeptically. 

“Those are my favorites.” She nodded. 

“Do you think papa would like those?” Alex asked, pushing aside his iPad to watch her work. 

“Oh, no. Maybe not.” She admitted. 

Alex rolled his hand over the crayons on the table to spread them out. “We pick good colors, ok? For papa and me to get married with.”

Hanna held up a pink crayon. “No pink?” She asked. 

Alex shrugged. “Maybe, looks good on me.” Hanna gave him an incredulous look and he laughed. “Maybe not. What about blue?” He asked, picking up the corresponding crayon. 

Hanna shook her head. “Too boring.” 

“Even for your Papa?” He teased. 

“Especially for Papa.” Nicky said, walking into the kitchen with his hair still dripping from the shower. He leaned over and kissed Hanna, water droplets falling on her. 

“Papa, you’re getting everything all wet.” She complained, laughing when he shook his head like a dog. “Papa!” She giggled. 

Alex wrapped an arm around Nicky’s waist, pulling him into his lap. “Picking colors.” He explained. “So far no pink, green, or blue.” 

Nicky picked up the red crayon. “I thought it would be red.” 

Alex looked at Hanna. “You like red?” 

She shrugged, going back to her coloring. “It’s ok, I guess.” 

Nicky laughed. “So excited.” He teased. “Are you happy to be a flower girl with Leni?”

She smiled at him. “Uh huh. I get to throw flowers at people!” 

Alex hid his laughter in Nicky’s shoulder as the blond tried to keep a straight face. “Well, actually, you throw flower petals.” He explained. “And not at people. They go on the ground.” 

“Oh.” She said, clearly disappointed. “Why?” 

“I don’t know.” Nicky admitted. “People think they’re pretty, I think.” 

“I could blow bubbles?” She suggested. 

“Ok.” Nicky agreed. 

“I like bubbles, can I do that too?” Alex asked, grinning. 

Hanna shook her head. “Nooo, you hafta get married.” She sighed. “You have to kiss Papa.”

“I could just kiss him now.” Alex said, pressing a loud kiss to Nicky’s cheek. 

Hanna covered her eyes, peeking out between her fingers. Nicky kissed Alex’s mouth and Hanna covered her face again. “I meant at the wedding. You’re silly.” Hanna said, turning her attention back to her coloring. 

They brought Hanna to the optional skate the next morning and she split her time between playing keep away with Andre and skating up to Alex and Nicky to hug them. 

After she left, Alex caught a glimpse of Nicky wincing as he stretched. “You ok?” He asked. 

Nicky looked up, biting his lip a long moment before answering. “My hip is just sore, that’s all.” He said quietly, careful not be overheard. 

Alex watched him a bit longer. “How sore?” Nicky wrinkled his nose but didn’t answer, which told Alex everything he needed to know. “How long?”

“Since January.” Nicky admitted. 

Alex sighed. “Nicky…”

“I know, I know...it’s not that bad.” Nicky shrugged. “It started to hurt by the end of last season, too.” He admitted. 

Alex pursed his lips; January wasn’t exactly close to the end of the season, especially since they were a lock for the first round of playoffs. “You gonna be ok?” 

“I can play.” Nicky promised him, which was something entirely different. 

It wasn’t that Alex didn’t get sore. He did. His shoulder, his knee, they both ached sometimes. Nicky wasn’t the only one that sounded like a bag of popcorn in the microwave in the morning. “Not what I asked.” Alex said, giving him a skeptical look. 

Nicky forced a smile. “I’m fine.” He lied. 

That night, after Nicky failed get comfortable in bed, adjusting pillows and changing positions, Alex brought it up again. “You really ok?”

Nicky sighed loudly. “Well, I feel like I’m a hundred years old.” He admitted coyly. “But I’ll be fine.”

Alex nodded, silent for a beat. “You ever think about retiring?”

Nicky looked at him, narrowing his eyes and really studying him. “No. Why. Are you?” 

God, Nicky sucked at lying, Alex thought adoringly. 

He rolled his eyes. “Sure. Can’t play forever.” 

Nicky nodded slowly, considering the statement like it had never occurred to him before. “Would you play without me?” He asked. 

“No.” Alex answered quickly, surprising both of them. It felt wrong to imagine playing without Nicky, even if they spent most of their time on different lines now. He couldn’t win without Nicky, that much he knew. “No, we do it together.” 

Nicky gave him a fond look, smiling and reaching up to cup Alex’s cheek before kissing him. “You and me, huh?” 

Alex kissed him again, longer and deeper. “You and me.” He promised. 

They picked Hanna up from school after practice the next day and she chattered happily at them until they reached the car. “What’s kindergarten?” She asked. 

Nicky paused as he was buckling her car seat. “It’s school. You learn to read and write.” 

“Oh.” She nodded thoughtfully. “Does Ms. Kayla teach it?” 

“Uh, no. You’ll have a different teacher.”

Hanna frowned. “But I like Ms. Kayla.” She whined, slouching a bit. 

Nicky nodded. “I know. I like Ms. Kayla too.” He commiserated. He finished buckling her in and closed the door.

Alex turned in his seat to look at her. “You’ll like your new teacher too.” 

“But not as much as Ms. Kayla.” Hanna crossed her arms. “She’s my favorite. An’ Ms. Abbie.” 

Nicky nodded. “Yeah. But you can’t stay in her class. New kids need her.”

Hanna sniffled. “Do I hafta go to kindergarten now?” She asked, wiping at her eyes. 

Alex ducked his head to hide his fond smile and Nicky managed to make a reassuring face. “No. Kindergarten is a long time from now. It starts in August, before hockey starts again.” 

“After my birthday?” She confirmed. 

“Way after your birthday.” Alex agreed. 

Alex almost couldn’t believe Hanna was turning 5. It seemed like when he’d first held her in the hospital hadn’t been that long ago. Everything had changed so much since then. Hanna had grown into her own person, with thoughts and opinions, likes and dislikes. She had friends from school, not just other Caps Kids. 

Hanna crawled into Alex’s lap after dinner, leaning her head against his chest. He smiled and kissed the top of her head, holding her close. “Hi there, Solnyshka.” He whispered. 

“Hi.” She yawned. 

Nicky looked amused. “Ms. Kayla said you didn’t nap today.” 

“I’m too big for naps.” She said, yawning again. 

Alex chuckled. “Papa and me take naps.” 

“Really?” Hanna looked up at them sleepily. “But you’re really big.” 

“Really. Your Papa loves to take naps.” 

“Yeah, But he’s a bear.” Hanna pointed out. “An’ bears sleep a lot.” 

“I take naps. You should take naps. Gonna fall asleep in the tub if you don’t.” He teased. 

Hanna whined, covering her face. “Do I hafta take a bath?” 

Nicky tilted his head, considering the request. “You could try to take a shower. It’s faster.” 

Hanna did not like the shower and Nicky ended up with a wet, soapy child in his arms afterwards. She clung to him tightly and Alex draped a towel over her. “Papa, I don’t like showers.” She decided. 

“I noticed.” Nicky said, rubbing her back. “Let’s try the bath.”

“Papa…” she complained, rubbing at her eyes. “But I don’t wanna.” 

“You’re covered in soap.” He said mildly. “It’ll get in your eyes.” Hanna whined wordlessly. 

“Here, you stand in tub, we rinse you off.” Alex decided, rummaging under the sink to produce a plastic cup. Nicky mouthed ‘thank you’ over her head before setting her down. 

She still got soap in her eyes which, coupled with her lack of a nap and general exhaustion, led to a meltdown. She plopped down in the tub, half-sobbing as she tried to clear her eyes. 

Nicky rinsed the remaining soap away and Alex wrapped her in a clean towel, scooping her up. “Tomorrow you take nap, ok?” He said softly, drying her hair gently. 

“Ok.” She said, voice wobbly and weak. 

“Pajamas and teeth.” Nicky said, drying his hands on his thighs. Hanna pressed her face to Alex’s chest and shook her head. 

“No.”

Hanna couldn’t see the suppressed fondness in Nicky’s face, the look that always manifested when she tested his patience. “I know you’re tired, but you still have to do teeth.” 

“Papa…” she groaned, going slack in Alex’s arms. He set her down and she crumpled to the floor. Hanna didn’t throw fits often. “I don’t wanna.”

“Hanna Catrin, go get dressed.” Nicky said, level and unamused. “And then brush your teeth.” 

She did get up, but not without stomping across the hall. Nicky picked up the towel from the floor and hung it up to dry. “That was a little dramatic.” He said, smirking. 

From across the hall, Hanna said “was not!” 

Nicky raised his eyebrows and Alex covered his mouth to muffle his laughter. Eventually, Hanna emerged from her room with her pajamas on, her hair in tangled disarray. Nicky pulled her step stool out from the cabinet and she sighed as she stepped up to grab her toothbrush. 

As she brushed, Alex combed her hair; somehow, if Nicky did it it was too painful. 

By the time she was done, she let Nicky picked her up and kiss her cheek. “I’m sorry.” Hanna whispered. 

“Thank you.” Nicky whispered back. “I’m sorry the shower didn’t work.”

“Than’ kyou.” She mumbled. 

Nicky rocked her side to side before carrying her back to her room and laying her in bed. Instead of reading a bedtime story, he opted to sing a lullaby, the same one he’d been singing to her since she was a baby. Soon enough, she was asleep. 

Nicky looked up from stroking her hair to smile softly at Alex. “Is it bad that I think I’ll miss this?” He whispered. “She’s almost five already.”

Alex adjusted her blanket and smiled when she snuggled deeper under the covers. “Still little.” He said, holding Nicky’s hand. “C’mon, can’t wake her.”

“She’ll be a bear.” Nicky agreed, ducking to kiss her forehead before slipping out of the bed. 

Alex woke in the morning to the alarm on his watch going off, which meant Hanna was still asleep, because most days her climbing into bed was what woke him. Outside, rain pattered against the roof and the room was still dark. Beside him, Nicky snuggled closer, an arm resting low across Alex’s stomach. 

“Morning.” He said, smiling as Nicky wrinkled his nose. 

“Is it?” The blond asked, barely opening one eye to squint at him. 

“Uh huh.” Alex kissed him and Nicky melted under his touch, still drifting between wakefulness and slumber. “Hanna’s not up.” 

“Time’sit?” Nicky mumbled. 

“8 o’clock.” Alex said. 

Nicky groaned and pushed himself up. He was limping a bit as he made his way to Hanna’s room. Alex scrolled through his phone, barely able to make out the sound of Nicky’s voice through the walls. 

Finally the blond returned, Hanna bundled up in a blanket in his arms. He laid her down in bed and she snuggled up close to Alex. He could feel the unnatural heat coming off of her. “You don’t feel good?” He guessed, touching her forehead for good measure. 

She shook her head. “Do you have hockey?” She asked, her voice a touch hoarse. 

Alex shook his head. “No.” There wasn’t anything that was required. He couldn’t make Nicky rest, but he would skip an optional for Hanna’s sake. Nicky called the school to let them know Hanna would be out sick and Alex texted the coaching staff. 

Hanna sniffled and wiped her nose on her sleeve. Nicky cuddled up on the other side of her, rubbing a hand over her arm. “What do you want for breakfast?” Nicky asked. Hanna shrugged. “Eggs?” Nicky suggested. 

She shook her head. “Waffles?” She asked, blinking up at him. “With lots of syrup?” 

“Ok.” He agreed easily. “That sounds good.” 

Alex sat up a bit. “You stay here, I make. We can have breakfast in bed.” He said, watching Nicky’s face carefully. The blond wrinkled his nose but he didn’t protest. 

Alex came back upstairs with waffles and Nicky and Hanna were both asleep. Hanna stretched and squirmed away from Nicky when she saw the plates of food. “Thank you, Daddy.” She said, yawning. 

“You’re welcome.” Alex sat down on the bed, the movement waking Nicky. He blinked up at him and slowly sat up enough to lean against the headboard. “You ok?” Alex asked him when he grimaced. 

Hanna’s eyes widened. “Are you hurt?” She asked. 

Nicky smiled. “No, I’m ok. My foot fell asleep.” He lied, though Hanna probably couldn’t tell. 

She nodded and then looked at Alex. “Even his foots are bears.” 

Alex laughed and smiled at the sight before him, his little family cozy and warm inside. 

The first round of playoffs wasn’t as difficult as it could’ve been, but it wasn’t as easy as it should’ve been either. Or maybe Alex was just getting old. That’s what his shoulder was telling him- and his knee. 

Sitting on the bench in the locker room afterwards, he was struck by the realization that no one else had been there as long as he had. Even Nicky hadn’t been there his rookie year. He was going to stop playing hockey some time in the near future and he just-

He didn’t know what else he would do. 

Obviously, he’d have his parents, he’d have Nicky and Hanna. He’d have his friends, far flung as they were now. They could go on trips, they could travel. But he didn’t know what he would do, didn’t know what would use up all his energy like hockey did, what would challenge him like hockey did. His body was going to be happy to retire, but his mind wouldn’t be. 

Nicky would probably be offered a job as an assistant coach, though Alex wasn’t sure if he’d take it. Alex didn’t know if Nicky wanted to keep going on the road. Alex wasn’t sure if he wanted to either. Alex would probably be offered a coaching job, if he wanted it, but he wasn’t sure how to teach North American skaters, people who didn’t have the same background of constant skating, skating until you couldn’t move your legs anymore, that he’d had. 

He couldn’t go back and work in Russia, even if he wanted too. He couldn’t work somewhere that wouldn’t accept him and his little family. 

Or, maybe they would make their little family bigger. Hanna would be a good big sister, and Alex had always wanted to have a bunch of kids. Now it just required a bit more planning. 

There were a few days off before the second round and they were lucky that Hanna’s birthday fell in that gap. For her fifth birthday, they rented a pavilion at a park and sat and watched the kids run wild while they adults ate and chatted. There were a couple of Hanna’s friends from school and more than enough Caps Kids. 

Andre spent most of his time with the kids, finally coming back to sit beside Nicky, flushed and sweaty. “How do they have so much energy?” He asked, grabbing Nicky’s water bottle and taking a big gulp. 

Nicky rolled his eyes and took it back, deliberately wiping off the rim of the bottle. “They haven’t been playing hockey for 7 months.” He pointed out. “Or maybe you’re out of shape.” He poked Andre’s side consideringly. 

Andre gaped at him. “You think I’m fat?” He asked, eyes twinkling with mischief. 

“I said out of shape.” Nicky corrected him, smiling. “Look at your noodle arms.” He teased, laughing when Andre wrestled him to the ground, saying something in Swedish that Alex assumed was about the noodle arm comment. 

Most everyone ignored them, because they were used to Andre. Alex was only half watching, most of his attention dedicated to listening to Evgeny chatter on in his ear about the merits of restructuring the penalty kill. Well, most of his attention was actually being focused on looking attentive as the words washed over him. 

Nicky tried to squirm away from Andre, who did his best to pin him down. Nicky winced and Andre pulled back immediately. “Are you ok?” He asked hurriedly. 

Nicky grimaced as he sat up. “I’m fine.” He told him. 

“Is your hip hurting you?” Andre asked in undertones, helping Nicky to sit at the table again. 

“It’s not bad.” Nicky said blandly. 

Andre made a face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“You didn’t. It’s fine.” He said, slowly turning pink as everyone’s eyes fell on him. “I’m fine.” 

Andre switched to Swedish. Nicky used to tease Andre about his accent, but now that Alex was somewhat use to how Nicky spoke, he could really hear it. Andre asked if Nicky was hiding an injury. 

Nicky glanced at Alex and Andre followed his gaze, seeming to realize Nicky wasn’t the only one listening. _“You know Swedish?”_ He asked, purposefully a bit slower than before. 

_“A little.”_ Alex said. _“Hanna teach me.”_ He added. 

Andre’s face brightened into a broad smile. _“That’s cool! Good job!”_

 _“Thank you.”_ Alex replied. 

Andre turned his attention back to Nicky, fussing over him. Nicky finally stilled him with a hand on his shoulder, pulling him into an embrace. 

“I’m fine.” Nicky whispered. “Don’t worry, ok?” 

Soon enough, they were distracted by singing happy birthday and distributing cake to everyone. Finally, when the party reached its end, Hanna climbed into Alex’s lap. “I’m five now.” She said matter-of-factly. 

Alex grinned. “You are? Is that why we have a big party?” 

“Don’t be silly, Daddy.” She said with a giggle. “I have a question but Papa said I should ask you.” 

“Oh?” He glanced around and caught sight of Nicky watching the conversation as he chatted with John Carlson, holding his youngest in his arms. 

“Are you my Daddy like Maymay is my uncle? Or are you my daddy like Papa is my papa?” 

Alex thought he understood. “Like am I your Dad for real?” He asked. 

“Yeah. Like…Papa said you have to sign things.” 

“I haven’t signed anything. So...not your Dad like Nicky is your Papa.” Alex said. 

Hanna nodded, sucking on her lower lip as she thought. “Could you be?” 

“Do you want me to?” 

“Uh huh.” She nodded. “Papa said you have to sign the marrying papers, so then you belong together. But...I want us to belong together too.” She grabbed his hand, squeezing it. 

Alex swallowed hard, eyes suddenly going misty. “I want that too.” He agreed, keeping his voice as steady as she could. 

“Ok. Good.” She leaned against his chest and yawned. “Being five makes me sleepy.” She decided. 

Alex chuckled and tilted his chin down to kiss the top of her head, hiding his watery eyes from the people that were still lingering in the pavilion. 

Hanna fell asleep in the car on the ride home and Alex waited until she was truly out to say anything to Nicky. “Hanna asked me to be her Dad officially. Like, to sign things.” 

Nicky nodded. “She had a lot of questions about the wedding and I told her about the wedding license.” He explained. “And then she wanted to know if I signed anything to have her, which I did. And then she asked about you.” 

Alex nodded. “Wasn’t expecting it.” 

Nicky chuckled, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. “Sorry. We talked about it a couple days ago and I told her to ask you. I didn’t think she’d wait til today.” 

Alex glanced over his shoulder and smiled at the sight of Hanna snoring quietly in her car seat. “You want me to? To adopt her?”

Nicky gave him a quick sideways look. “Do you want to?” He countered. 

“Yeah. Yes. Of course.” Alex answered, watching as some tension bled out of Nicky’s shoulders. 

“Good.” Nicky said, nodding. “That’s...you should. If we have more kids-“ he cut himself off, blushing. 

“We have more kids, they’re all the same. One Dad, one Papa.” Alex said, squeezing Nicky’s hand where it rested on the center console. 

Nicky nodded, thankful to be understood. “Yeah, exactly.” 

The second round started at home and they dropped the first game, picking up a win in the second. They lost the third, and barely squeaked by with a win in the fourth, on the road. The series was tied and Alex felt like they were running as fast as they could just to stay where they were. He always blocked out how hard the postseason was. He always told himself it was going to be fine, it wasn’t really that hard. But it was. 

Alex had stitches in his chin and Nicky had gotten a black eye. Tom was playing with a broken finger, Evgeny had aggravated his shoulder. TJ hadn’t said anything, but Alex had seen one of the trainers wrapping his ankle before the game. They looked ragged and disheveled, liked they’d already played four rounds instead of one. It didn’t feel like their year, but it hadn’t last time either. They’d been hiding injuries then too, Nicky had broken his hand and kept setting up beautiful assists for them anyway. 

Nicky was supposed to talk to the boys, but his stall was mysteriously absent. Alex got up to go check the showers when Andre found him. “He’s in here.” He said, tugging Alex towards the bathrooms. Even Andre, the bright ray of sunshine that he was, looked dimmed by fatigue. 

Nicky was slouched in one of the stalls, pale and clammy looking. He frowned when he opened his eyes. “Thought you were getting clothes.” He said, his voice a bit weak. 

Andre smiled and shook his head. “Needy.” He said, slipping back out the door. 

Nicky still had his towel from the shower, wearing only underwear and a t shirt. And socks; they were the first thing he put on, the weirdo, Alex thought fondly. 

“You didn’t say anything.” 

“It didn’t really start until...until the third.” He said, swallowing hard. “It’s just, uh, worse than...than normal.” 

Alex paused, considering the bruising around his eye. “Concussion?” Nicky has done the screening between the first and second period, but it wasn’t perfect. 

“I don’t think so.” Nicky covered his face. “It’s-Sasha, it’s bad.” His voice shook and Alex dropped to the floor beside him, ignoring how his knee creaked with the motion. 

Nicky took a couple gulping breaths before turning to throw up into the toilet, dry heaving for minutes afterwards as Alex rubbed his back. Finally, he collapsed back into his arms, shaking and drenched in sweat. 

“You need doctors.” Alex decided. 

Nicky shook his head. “No. They just...it doesn’t help. They give morphine and I can’t...I can’t.” He panted. “Please.” 

“You can’t get up.” Alex pointed out. 

“Sasha…” Nicky whined, biting his finger and trying to control his breathing, trying to push down the pain. 

“Ok, ok. No doctors. Yet.” 

“Thank you.” Nicky whispered, eyes shut tight as he tried to focus. 

Andre returned with clothes and the bottle of pills Nicky kept hidden in his bag. Nicky stood, with assistance, the color draining from his face. He leaned against the wall, hands pressing into the cool tile and Alex and Andre both lunged for him when he started to slide downwards. 

“I’m fine.” He whispered faintly. 

Andre looked at Alex, his face drawn with worry. “Should I-“

“I’m fine. Stood up too fast.” Nicky mumbled, cracking his eyes open. “Can I have pants, please?” His voice was still thready, but he managed to get into a pair of sweatpants without completely losing his balance. 

“Medicine.” Alex said, handing him the pills. 

Nicky washed it down with tap water, almost gagging. He stayed leaned over the sink, forearms braced on the counter, for a long moment. 

“Concussion?” Andre asked, looking at Alex. 

“Probably not.” Alex said, which was far from comforting. 

Andre bit his lip, nodding as they both watched Nicky try to keep himself under wraps. 

The bus ride was mercifully short and Andre helped steer the blond up to their room. Nicky tugged him into the room too, his hand clenched tight in the younger man’s sleeve. 

“Papa?” Andre asked, looking confused as he guided Nicky to the bed. 

“I don’t want you to...to worry. I’ll be fine.” He said, in a manner that was wholly unconvincing. Nicky looked at both of them, squinting. 

“Nicky?” Alex asked, sitting beside him on the edge of the bed. “You ok?”

“Yeah, sorry.” Nicky looked down, rubbing at his eyes. “It’s- sometimes, it makes things blurry.” 

Andre’s eyebrows shot up. “Are you sure you’re not concussed?” He asked, squatting down in front of Nicky. 

Nicky managed a tight smile. “No. But it’s normal.” 

“Normal?” Andre sounded concerned. 

“It’s just bad.” Nicky breathed, letting Alex lay him down. He was shivering, shaking from the pain. Andre pulled the blankets up over him. 

He looked at Alex. “Is he really ok?” He whispered. Alex shrugged. 

Nicky either ignored them or didn’t hear them. There was moisture gathered at his lashes, his hands clutched tight to the blankets. Alex rubbed a hand over his upper arm, wishing he could do more. Nicky had told him days ago he felt like he might get a migraine, but what could he do to stop it? He couldn’t rest, couldn’t take a break. Even during the regular season he wouldn’t sit out a game; missing even a shift wasn’t on the table for the postseason. 

Alex went to the bathroom to get ready for bed, leaving Andre to watch Nicky. He showered quickly and brushed his teeth. When he pushed open the bathroom door, Andre was leaning against the headboard, his hand stroking Nicky’s hair. The blond had an arm thrown across Andre’s lap, keeping him from moving. 

Alex set the bathroom trash can on the floor beside Nicky. 

Andre looked up. “I’ve never seen it this bad.” He whispered. Nicky’s hand was clutching Andre’s other sleeve, knuckles white. 

“Sometimes, just bad for no reason.” Alex said. He hated to see Nicky like this, hated how useless he felt when he couldn’t help. Still, just because Alex was worried, didn’t mean Andre had to be. “They said screening was ok, so probably ok.”

“It’s been wrong before though, yeah? About him?” Andre hadn’t been with them then, but someone might’ve told him; Nicky might’ve told him, one of the times the trainers fussed over him more than normal. 

“Long time ago.” Alex said. “It's better now.” He hoped, anyway. 

Andre nodded. He tried to get up but Nicky whimpered, half asleep and vulnerable. He gave Alex a pained look. 

Alex gently pried Nicky’s fingers free from Andre’s sleeve and motioned for the younger man to move. Alex slipped into his spot, shushing Nicky when he mumbled. “Shh, sleep. Brain’s on the fritz.” He said, forcing a smile and trying to be normal, for Andre’s sake. 

Maybe Nicky didn’t know Andre was still in the room; maybe Nicky couldn’t tell or he just couldn’t hold back anymore. He gave a broken, frustrated sob, the sort of noise that made Alex’s stomach twist in painful knots. “Oh, Nicky…” he whispered, rubbing his back. “It’s ok, it’s ok.” 

“Sorry. Shit.” Nicky said, rubbing at his eyes roughly. Andre sat on the edge of the bed, a hand resting on Nicky’s shoulder. He looked up at Alex with wide eyes, dark hair falling across his face. 

“Should I get a doctor?” Andre asked softly. 

Nicky shook his head once, grimacing with the action. “Just a headache.” He muttered, voice muffled from being pressed close to Alex. 

Andre looked at Alex for confirmation. “He just needs to sleep.” He agreed. “You do too.” 

Andre nodded and slowly left, looking over his shoulder once before pulling the door shut quietly behind him. 

When Alex woke in the morning, he couldn’t move. Nicky had an arm wrapped around him, one hand clutching tight to his shirt. One of Nicky’s legs was tucked between Alex’s, pinning him down. When he tried to wriggle free, Nicky tightened his grip. 

Alex smiled, twisting to face him. “Hanna’s right. You’re a bear.” He teased. 

Nicky hugged him closer, burrowing his head in against his chest. 

“Feel better?”

“A little.” Nicky mumbled. 

Alex nodded. “C’mon, shower then breakfast.”

Nicky was mostly pliant as they went through their morning routine. The bruising under his left eye has turned spectacularly purple over night. Alex grazed his fingers across the discoloration. 

“It doesn’t hurt.” Nicky said, shrugging one shoulder. 

“Not sure you don’t have concussion.” Alex said. 

Nicky nodded, looking down at the sink. “I don’t know.” He admitted softly. “I can’t- I can’t tell.” 

Alex squeezed his arm. 

“I knew I was going to get a headache though.” Nicky continued, quiet as he worked through it. “I could...you know, feel it coming. I told you.” He said, pointing it out as though Alex had somehow forgotten. 

“You did.” 

“The headaches make me so dizzy and sick...it doesn’t really feel different than a concussion, not at first.” He added. 

Alex nodded, remembering. “Yeah. How you feeling now?” 

Nicky pursed his lips and his shoulders drew up close to his ears. “My head still hurts.”

“Dizzy? Feel sick?” Alex prodded. 

Nicky nodded, leaning a bit more on his hands to steady himself as he did. Alex watched his fingers spread out on the counter to take more of his weight; one of them was still a little crooked from the Stanley Cup run. 

“I don’t want to stop playing.” Nicky said, closing his eyes. 

“If you have a concussion-“

“I mean next season.” Nicky interrupted. “I don’t want to retire yet. Is that bad? I-I should. Hanna’s starting school next year, I-“

“Don’t have to retire.” Alex said, cutting him off with a hand on his hip. 

Nicky nodded, resting his forehead on Alex’s shoulder. “I just...I think I could. My hip- and I’m just getting old.” 

“I’m older.” Alex pointed out. 

“Thought you said you were always 22, on the inside.” Nicky teased. 

Alex grinned. “Eh, maybe 23 now.” He said, smile growing wider as Nicky laughed. 

“Maybe after next season?” Nicky said, looking up. “Unless...I don’t know.”

“Maybe after next season.” Alex agreed. “You sure you want to do this all again?” The traveling, the stress, the hurt, the practices and meetings and media, all of it. 

“If it’s you and me...yeah.” Nicky’s eyes were watery. 

“Always gonna be you and me.” Alex promised, running the backs of his fingers across Nicky’s cheek before pulling him into a kiss. Nicky kissed back with an edge of desperation, off-balance in more ways than one. 

They were nearly late getting to breakfast and Nicky kept pulling at his shirt to try to cover the gap-toothed bite mark on his neck. 

Andre fixed them with an unamused look. “Feeling better, I guess?” Alex snorted and Nicky nodded, his lingering dizziness betraying him and he had to grab the back of the chair to stay steady. Andre’s face softened into worry. “You ok?”

“Still...still have a bit of headache, that’s all.” Nicky said, sitting down heavily. 

Andre lowered his voice. “Are you sure you don’t-“

“Not sure yet.” Nicky interrupted. “It’s probably still- the headache was worse than normal, so it’s probably that.” 

Andre gave Alex a suspicious look, like he knew more than he was letting on. Alex threw an arm over the back of Nicky’s chair. “I try to fix him. Kiss him and make it better.” 

Nicky’s eyes lit up and Alex realized a second too late what Nicky was going to say. “You kissed the wrong head.” Nicky said, grinning at his own joke. 

Andre groaned and covered his face. Tom had been eavesdropping and almost choked on a bagel. Alex couldn’t help but laugh, ruffling Nicky’s hair fondly. 

Nicky slept on the plane ride home, slept on the bus, slept in the car. He was still asleep when the garage doors closed behind them. Alex shook his arm. “Let’s go inside, ok?”

Nicky nodded and stumbled inside, not putting up a fight when Alex took his bag. He sank down into the couch and closed his eyes. “You want food?” Alex offered. 

“Not right now.” Nicky scooted over to make room for Alex. He sat down beside him. 

“Still feel sick?” Alex asked, gathering him up on his arms. Nicky nodded weakly. “Concussion?” 

“I don’t know.” Nicky admitted. “Or maybe just...I don’t know. It’s probably just the normal thing.” 

They spent the morning snuggling on the couch, the TV turned on quietly in the background. Nicky dozed and Alex played on his phone, looking up venues to have the wedding at. 

“You want big wedding or small wedding?” He asked when Nicky was awake. 

Nicky looked up. “Medium?” He suggested. He shrugged. “It’ll probably be a lot. All the boys, their families. All our families. Our friends…”

Alex nodded. “A lot.” He agreed. 

Nicky shifted, stretching his arms. “Who...have you asked anyone to be your best man?”

“Asked my brother.” 

“Is...can he?” 

“He said yes. So that’s good, otherwise I have to ask Sasha Semin.” He joked. 

Nicky laughed under his breath. “I asked Kris too. He said ok. He said my parents want to know if we’re getting married in Sweden.” He rolled his eyes. 

Alex snorted. “No, no one wants to go to Sweden. Only weird fish to eat.” 

“Hey.” Nicky said, smiling up at him. “I like the weird fish. There’s weird Russian food too.”

Alex thought he had this old argument won. “You think my grandmother makes weird food?” He asked. 

“That’s not fair.” Nicky chuckled. “I didn’t know what anything was.”

“You ate it all.” Alex pointed out. 

“It was good. I didn’t want to be rude.” Nicky protested. “You drug me halfway around the world to play hockey.”

Alex combed his fingers through Nicky’s curls. “Didn’t make you. Called you, you came to play with me.”

“Yeah, well…” Nicky was blushing, which Alex always found endearing, loving when Nicky’s fair skin gave him away. “I had a crush on you, I don’t know why.”

“For my good looks?”

“No, couldn’t have been that.” Nicky teased. “Maybe I hit my head too hard or something.”

Alex sighed, shaking his head. “Such a brat sometimes.” He said. “Don’t know why I liked you so much.” 

Alex wondered what life would’ve been like if they’d gotten together in Russia during the lockout. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it at the time, hadn’t considered kissing Nicky in the middle of helping him learn Russian. Would they still be together, would their relationship have survived their tumultuous youths, or would they have broken up?

It didn’t matter, in the end, because he had Nicky now and he was never letting go. 

By the time it was afternoon, Nicky was sleeping soundly across Alex’s lap and he didn’t want to wake him, but someone had to go pick up Hanna. He tried to slip away, but his eyes fluttered open still. 

“Hmm?” Nicky blinked up at him sleepily. 

“Gotta go get Hanna.” He explained. 

Nicky nodded. “Can you go?” He asked, eyes slipping shut again. 

Alex nodded, squeezing his hand. “Yeah, you rest.” 

“Thank you.”

Hanna ran to meet him when he opened the classroom door, hugging him tight. “Daddy! You’re back.” He picked her up and she frowned. “What happened to your face?” She asked. 

“I got a cut, but it’s ok.” He promised. 

“It looks...icky.” She decided. 

Alex laughed and set her down. “Yeah. Go get your bag, ok?” Hanna’s teacher gave him a brief run down of the day and then Hanna gave her a hug before they left. 

“Where’s Papa?” Hanna asked, realizing that the car was empty. 

“He’s at home. He doesn’t feel good.” Alex explained carefully. 

Hanna looked up with wide eyes. “Did he get hurt too?” 

Alex wondered if he was lying when he said, “No, he has a headache.”

“Oh.” Hanna nodded thoughtfully. “Ok.” 

At home, she stilled in the doorway. “You said….you said he didn’t get hurt.” She looked up at Alex, looking betrayed. 

“It’s just a bruise.” Alex explained, feeling guilty. She pressed her lips together, unsure. “He’s...he just doesn’t feel good.” 

“Can I sit with him?”

Nicky opened his eyes, managing to smile. “C’mere, alskling.” He said, patting the couch beside him. “I’m ok.”

Hanna clamored up next to him, hugging him tight. “Daddy said your head hurts.” She said. 

“Yeah.” Nicky nodded. “But it’s not so bad.” 

“Does it need to be kissed better?” She asked. 

Nicky smiled. “That would help.”

Delicately, she leaned over and kissed his cheek. Nicky hugged her to his chest. “I missed you.” He told her. “Did you have fun with Babu and Dedushka?”

“Uh huh!” Hanna exclaimed, launching into a detailed description of everything she did with her grandparents. Alex sat down on the couch with them, so Nicky could rest his head in his lap again. 

The blond dozed off by the time Hanna had finished her retelling and she paused. “Is he sleeping?” 

Alex caught her hand before she could poke his face. “He’s sick. Needs lots of sleep.” He explained. 

Nicky played the next day, whether Alex thought he should or not. He was still quiet, still withdrawn, but a second concussion screening didn’t indicate anything more than a bad migraine. 

Andre got boarded halfway through the second and he stayed on the ice for a long moment afterwards. Alex could only watch from the bench. Nicky was on the ice and he was at his side immediately, carefully helping him to his skates. Even from across the rink, Alex could see that Andre’s shoulder didn’t look right- dislocated, he guessed. 

After the press had left, Nicky scooted down to sit beside Alex in his stall. “Andre’s still at the hospital.” He said quietly, phone in hand.

“You want to go see him?” Alex guessed. 

“Yeah. If you don’t mind.” 

“I’ll text mama, let her know.” Alex agreed easily. 

Andre looked small in the ER bed, his arm in sling. Nicky sat on the edge of the bed, pushing his hair back off his forehead. “You need a haircut.” He decided quietly. 

Andre rolled his eyes. “Nicky…” he whined, not making a real effort to pull away from his touch. 

Alex sat down in one of the two plastic chairs in the corner. “They keep you much longer?”

“No.” Andre said. “They said I can go home soon.” He yawned, turning away for a moment. 

“Surgery?” Alex asked. 

“Probably not.” Andre said. 

“Good.” Alex nodded. 

Andre yawned again and Nicky glanced at his hand, where an IV was taped down against his skin. “Did they give you medicine?” He asked. 

“Uh huh.” Andre nodded, eyes droopy. 

Nicky pushed his dark hair back again, the same way he did to Hanna, the same way he did to Alex, sometimes. Alex smiled as he watched. “You should stay at our house tonight.” Nicky offered. 

“I’m ok.”

“It’s gonna hurt more tomorrow.” Nicky pointed out.

Andre looked thoughtful. “You’ll feed me?” He asked, grinning when Nicky made a face. 

“Have I ever not?” Nicky asked. 

Andre fell asleep in the car on the way home. Nicky glanced at him in the rear view mirror, his head leaning against the window. “I don’t think we can carry him inside.” He decided. 

Alex chuckled. “Not without him waking up.” He agreed. He looked at Nicky at the red light. “You ok?” He asked. Migraine or concussion, he wanted to know. 

Nicky shrugged, looking down at his hands. “I’m just so tired.” He looked up at Alex. “Tell me we can do this.” 

Alex squeezed his hand. “We can do this.” He said, trying to believe it. 

They made it out of the second round, but barely. The team was exhausted and battered. It was hard to be excited, hard to keep energy up when everyone kept racking up injuries. Alex’s knee was stiff and swollen. At home, he kept applying ice and trying to rest it, but he couldn’t hide it from the boys anymore. Tom’s hand was still broken. Andre was out for the rest of the postseason. Nicky was so quiet. In Game 7, Christian got a couple of his front teeth knocked out. 

They were eliminated after 4 straight losses in the third round. 

Honestly, Alex couldn’t feel anything. He wasn’t sad, he wasn’t mad, he was just numb. He couldn’t think as he showered, dressing on autopilot. He didn’t need to think to talk to the press; he had a lot of practice at being eliminated from the playoffs, after all. 

His parents and Hanna met them outside the locker room. Hanna broke free of Tatiana’s grasp when they came into sight and she barreled down the hallway towards them. Nicky dropped down to hug her, his face half hidden by her curls. Alex stood beside them, a hand on her shoulder. 

She looked up and smiled at him. “I love you.” She said, dimples showing in her cheeks. 

Alex couldn’t help but smile back. “I love you too.” 

“Are you sad?” She asked, touching Nicky’s cheek with one little hand. 

He shrugged. “Sad we lost. But happy to see you.” 

She giggled and then turned solemn. “I’m sad you lost too.” She said. “We can get ice cream for everyone?” She suggested. 

Nicky laughed; Alex hadn’t heard him make that sound in weeks. It sounded different than normal, a little more wet. 

Hanna’s ice cream social grew from her little family to include more Caps players as the night went on. Hanna did her best to stay awake, fueled by sugar and attention, but after a couple hours she crashed in Alex’s lap. He cuddled her close, her little body warm. He didn’t want to get up anyway, not with the way his knee ached. 

Evgeny brought him an ice pack and sat down beside him. 

_“Thanks.”_ Alex said softly; despite the amount of people, the house was quiet. No one was talking about hockey, but they all wanted to be close. 

_“No problem.”_ Evgeny said. _“You ok?”_

 _“Just old, I think.”_ Alex tried to smile. 

Evgeny nodded, leaning against him. _“Only old for hockey though. Not for the stuff that matters.”_ He pointed out.

Alex’s smile grew broader. _“Yeah. Not too old to get married.”_ He said. 

_“True.”_ Evgeny laughed. He patted Alex’s leg. _“I’m going home. I’ll see you, ok?”_

_“See you.”_

Eventually, everyone started to leave, filtering out as quietly as they had arrived. Alex had to coax Hanna upstairs. After she’s gone to bed, he went to find Nicky. 

The Swede was outside, lying in the hammock with his eyes closed too tight to be sleeping. Alex crawled in beside him, hugging him. 

“You ok?” Nicky asked. “Your knee-“

“It’s just sore.” Alex said quickly. “Just needs to rest.” 

“Promise?” Nicky looked at him with wide green eyes. 

“Promise.” Alex replied, kissing him. “You ok?”

“I think so.” Nicky whispered, closing his eyes and pressing closer to Alex. “I...I’m so tired but I can’t sleep.” He admitted. 

“Why?” 

“Just...worried. About you, and Hanna, and everything.” 

Alex’s lips twitched in a small smile. “Sounds like you.” He teased as gently as he could. 

“I know.” Nicky managed to smile. “Do you think we can do one more season?”

Alex shrugged. “We can wait. Don’t have to choose yet.” They didn’t have much time, but they had enough. 

Nicky nodded. “Ok.” He agreed, threading his fingers through Alex’s. “Thank you.” 

They decided they couldn’t sleep in the hammock in case Hanna needed them. Nicky looked at their bed with apprehension. Alex stretched out and patted the space beside him. “C’mon, can’t sleep without you stealing blankets.”

Nicky laughed and wrapped an arm around Alex, resting his head over his heart. Alex rubbed his hand over his back until he fell asleep. 

Hanna woke them in the morning by jumping up and down on the foot of the bed, before launching herself at them and worming her way in between them. “Good morning!” She said brightly, giggling as Nicky tried to hide his face under the pillow. “Papa, It’s morning.”

“No, it’s not. Go back to bed.” He said, voice muffled. 

“Yuh huh, the sun’s up.” She said, bouncing between them. 

“Tell it to go back to bed too.” Nicky said, lifting the edge of the pillow to look at her. 

She sighed. “Daddy, tell him it’s morning.”

“Nicky, is morning.” Alex said obediently, trying to keep from smiling. 

“Thank you. Can we go swimming today?” Hanna asked. “Please?”

Nicky looked at Alex, who shrugged. “We could go to the beach?” Alex suggested. 

“Can we?” Hanna asked, giving her best puppy dog eyes. “Papa, please?”

“Yeah, ok. That sounds fun.”

Alex drove the hour drive to the beach and Nicky dozed in the passenger seat. By the time they reached their destination, Hanna was brimming with energy and the blond was more or less awake. 

“What do you want to do first?” Nicky asked Hanna, zipping her swim vest. 

“Swim! I wanna see a shark!” 

“A shark?” Nicky asked, clarifying. “Don’t they bite?”

Hanna shrugged. “So do dogs, sometimes.” She pointed out. “And-and sharks don’t mean to be mean, they just have big mouths.”

“Like Sasha?” Nicky teased coyly. Hanna giggled as Alex pretended to look offended. 

“But sharks have lots of teeth.” Hanna said. “And Daddy is missing one.” 

“Well, hopefully we don’t see a shark.” Nicky decided. “We would have to get out of the water.” 

“What if it was only a baby shark?” Hanna suggested. 

“Baby shark, probably ok.” Alex said agreeably. 

Nicky scooped Hanna up. “Ok, let’s go feed the sharks.” He said, laughing as Hanna giggled and flailed before Nicky carefully threw her into the water. 

They ended up not seeing any sharks, thankfully. They buried Hanna in the sand, built sand castles, collected seashells, and played in the water. When they were ready to leave, Nicky was smiling to himself and generally in a good mood. His cheeks were a little pink from the sun and his hair half-wet and tangled. Alex kissed him, because he wanted too, because he could. 

“Daddy, can you carry me?” Hanna asked. “My legs are sleepy.” 

“Only your legs?” Alex asked, picking her up. She laid her head against his shoulder and sighed, relaxing. 

“Uh huh.” She said, eyes slipping closed. He caught Nicky taking a picture of them. 

“I can drive.” Nicky offered, eyes bright. For the first time in a while, he looked rested and happy. 

Hanna was asleep before they got to the highway and Alex dozed off not long after that. When he woke up, they were pulling into their neighborhood. Nicky was humming along with the radio, smiling when he saw Alex was awake. 

“Sleep well?”

“Needed a nap.” Alex chuckled, stretching. “You good?”

“Yeah.” Nicky glanced at him, eyes twinkling. “It’s...today was good.” He said, shrugging his shoulders. Alex understood. There was something soothing about the beach, something rejuvenating about ignoring the rest of the world and playing all day in the sun. He felt infinitely better than when he’d woken up that morning, crick in his neck from sleeping against the window notwithstanding. 

“Really good.” Alex agreed. 

They had a dinner of leftovers that Alex’s mother had supplied them with for the playoffs, eating at the table in the backyard. Hanna was still quiet, rubbing at her eyes sleepily. Afterwards, she cuddled up in Nicky’s lap. 

“Can we have a kitten?” She asked. 

“No.” Nicky said, kissing her forehead. 

She nodded thoughtfully. “Can we have a shark?” 

Nicky snorted. “Nope.” Hanna laughed softly, relaxing as he carded his fingers through her hair. “What do you want to do before kindergarten starts?” He asked. 

“Hmmm….go swimming again?” She suggested. 

Alex laughed. “We can do that.” 

Hanna went to bed easily that night, half asleep before she even finished brushing her teeth. Alex stayed upstairs to read a bedtime story to her and she fell asleep after only a few pages. When he came back downstairs, Nicky was in the kitchen, with a bottle of wine and two glasses. He pushed one towards Alex.

“We need to figure out wedding stuff.” Nicky said. 

Alex laughed and accepted the glass. “Ok. Should we get married inside or outside?” 

Nicky’s nose wrinkled. “August in D.C?”

Alex laughed. “Ok, ok, inside.” He grabbed a notebook from the junk drawer and scribbled down a note. “Hmm. Wedding and party at the same place? Or different?”

Nicky shrugged. “Same? Or at least close?”

“Probably good.” Alex agreed. “Too confusing if everything is too far apart.”

“Yeah.” Nicky relaxed back in his seat. 

They spent the next hour working on their list, writing down everything they could think of that they needed to decide while they slowly finished the bottle of wine. They ended up on the couch, Nicky pressed close to Alex’s side as he jotted down notes. 

Looking over his shoulder, Alex wondered if they’d be able to read it. “Both of us, bad handwriting.” He chuckled. 

Nicky frowned for a moment, looking back over the pages, and then laughed. “Yeah. I guess so. Maybe should have typed it.” 

Alex leaned in to kiss his cheek. “It’s done, so that’s good.” He cleared his throat, one question still lingering. “You want to do our own vows, or just something...something someone else thought of?”

Nicky stilled, looking thoughtful. “We can do our own.” He said quietly, looking up at Alex with his hair falling into his face. 

“You sure? Have to say how much you like me in front of everyone.” Alex teased, only half joking. 

Nicky blushed slightly. “I- yeah. I’m sure.” He looked down. 

Alex cupped his chin and kissed him, Nicky’s tongue slipping into his mouth as the blond twisted to get closer. 

Even after years of it, Alex loved lazily kissing Nicky, kissing without an agenda. Eventually, he’d like to get Nicky naked, but he wasn’t in a hurry. He took his time exploring the blond’s mouth, tugging at his hair hard enough to elicit a quiet moan. 

They didn’t often get time like this, especially during the postseason when the exhaustion and expectations weighed on them heavily. Nicky slipped his fingers under the edge of Alex’s shirt, skimming them along his waistband. 

“Bed?” Nicky asked between kisses. 

“Yeah.” Alex agreed. 

They crept upstairs quietly, locking the door with a quiet click. Nicky bit his lip to keep from laughing and Alex pressed him against the wall to keep kissing him. 

Nicky’s hands, broad and strong, swept across his back, pulling him in closer. He tilted his head and Alex sunk his teeth into his exposed neck, cock twitching as Nicky moaned. 

They shed their clothes, falling into bed together. Alex was desperate for the feel of Nicky’s skin against his, warm and soft. Nicky laced their fingers together on one hand, kissing him sweetly; it was too much and not enough. 

Alex pinned Nicky to the bed, kissing him deeply. Nicky’s hips bucked and he barely kept quiet as he made contact with Alex’s thigh, yearning for friction. 

Alex tangled his fingers in Nicky’s hair as he kept kissing him, his dick fully hard and trapped between them. He wanted to fuck Nicky, but it seemed like too much work to find the lube and open him up. He couldn’t bear the thought of not touching him long enough to accomplish that. 

He tightened his grip on the blond curls and Nicky gasped into his mouth. All this time, and Alex knew exactly which buttons to press; or maybe Nicky was just easy. 

Nicky’s hands desperately clung to him, holding him close. He was shaking as he fucked up against Alex, the sensation too much and not enough simultaneously. “Sasha…” Nicky whispered, voice rough as sin. “Shit, I need- I need-“

Alex managed to work a hand between them and grab Nicky’s cock. After a few strokes, the blond came between them with a punched out groan. Alex kissed him all over, until one of Nicky’s trembling hands wrapped around his cock and starting jerking him off. 

Alex moaned, letting his head drop to Nicky’s shoulder. They were too close for Nicky to be able to move easily, but neither of them readjusted. Nicky’s other hand gently stroked up and down his back as Alex’s orgasm mounted. 

He came all at once, his whole body going slack like his strings had been cut. Nicky’s hand was still wedged between them and they were slick with cum, but Alex couldn’t be bothered to move. He might fall asleep right there. 

He might’ve. 

He vaguely remembered Nicky pushing him aside and the cold of a wash rag. Then, Nicky’s arms were back around him and the covers were pulled up to his shoulders. 

The next thing he knew was the sounds of tiny hands knocking on the door and Hanna’s voice. “Daddy? Papa? Are you hiding?” 

Alex couldn’t move until he’d extricated himself from Nicky’s grasp, the blond wrapped around him like an octopus. Nicky protested the unkindness wordlessly, blinking up at him. 

Alex threw Nicky’s sweats at him and they both hurried to get dressed. 

“Papa? Daddy?” Hanna sighed, leaning against the door. “It’s morning, we have to get up.” 

Alex opened the door and she smiled up at him. “Hi!” She chirped cheerfully. 

Alex couldn’t help but smile. “Hi there.” He said. “You want breakfast?” He offered, trying to distract from the fact that Nicky still didn’t have a shirt on, and the hickey Alex had left behind had blossomed spectacularly overnight. 

“Can we have pancakes? With the funny faces?” She asked. 

“Sure. Lots of funny face pancakes.” Alex agreed. One day, she wouldn’t be impressed with his ability to make smiley faced breakfast foods. 

Alex had moved from smiley faces to silly faces by the time Nicky stumbles downstairs. He’d showered quickly but he still looked debauched. Hanna didn’t seem to notice, crawling into his lap. “Good morning, papa.” She said happily. 

“Good morning, alskling.” He hugged her tight. 

Hanna hugged him tight and then paused. “Papa, did a shark bite you?” She asked incredulously. 

Alex looked up and watched Hanna tug at his shirt, exposing the edge of the bruise. Nicky flushed scarlet and gently pushed curious fingers away. “It’s just a bruise.” Then, as a distraction. “Which of these faces do you want?” 

Hanna looked at him skeptically. “It looks like something tried to eat you. Do you have monsters under your bed?” 

“We must.” Nicky said flatly. Alex ducked his face to hide his laughter. 

“You can sleep in my room.” Hanna offered. “There’s no monsters there.” 

“Thank you.” Nicky said agreeably, lips twitching as he tried not to smile. 

Nicky had to do his press with his jacket zipped up to hide the hickey, but the boys still saw it. 

“Jesus, you can see his missing tooth.” Tom said, looking impressed as he tugged Nicky’s shirt aside to examine it. 

Nicky swatted at his hand, but managed to laugh; they all needed a distraction and he knew that. 

Alex cleared his throat. “Hanna asked if we have monsters under our bed.” He said, reveling in the unrestrained laughter that followed. 

“Oh my god.” TJ wheezed. “That’s adorable.” 

“What did you tell her?” Andre asked. 

Nicky shrugged. “I just agreed with her. Sasha is a monster anyway.” He said, giving him a sideways glance. 

Alex grabbed his and ruffled his hair. “Brat.” He muttered, kissing his cheek with a loud smack, leaning behind a glistening wet spot. 

Nicky dried it with his sleeve, rolling his eyes. “Monster.” He said, eyes sparkling. 

It had only been a few days, but the agony and stress of the postseason had melted away. Before he had Nicky and Hanna, Alex use to spend at least a month afterwards sulking and dwelling on his failures. As sad as he was that the season was over, he still had Hanna and Nicky. Nicky, who finally looked like he could take a deep breath again, who looked good without the weight of their playoff struggles pulling him down. 

Two weeks after their season had ended, Alex wrapped his arms around Nicky and pulled him close. “You want to do it again?” He asked. 

“Do you?” Nicky looked up at him. 

“I go wherever you go.” Alex promised. “You and me.” 

“I think...one more run, yeah? Next year’s our year.” He liked how Nicky sounded, confident and steady. 

Alex chuckled. “Yeah. That sounds good.” One more year; one more cup, hopefully. 

The summer was blissfully uneventful. Alex had a tan from the beach, Nicky’s hair was light from the sun, and Hanna found every book about fish at the library she could and made them read them to her each night, until they’d all memorized them. 

Alex had no reason to be nervous about the wedding, and yet he was. 

_“Don’t be ridiculous.”_ Sasha Semin said, rolling his eyes as he studied Alex’s bow tie. _“This is crooked. How do you ever dress yourself?”_ He said, undoing it and straightening it out. 

His brother Mikhael chuckled. _“Have you seen his closet?”_

_“Good point.”_ Sasha conceded. _“Poor Nicky, has to dress you for the rest of his life.”_

Alex tried not to smile. _“Aren’t you supposed to be nice to me on my wedding day?”_ He asked. 

Evgeny shook his head. _“No, we’re distracting you from getting too nervous and being an idiot.”_

Sasha patted his cheek and indicated his bow tie was properly affixed. _“There. Don’t touch it.”_ He said, favoring him with a calming smile. 

_“Why would I be nervous?”_ Alex asked, like he wasn’t lying. 

Sasha sighed. _“Because you’re a little dumb.”_

 _“Because Nicky is too good for you.”_ Mikhael cracked. 

Alex flipped him off. 

Evgeny was laughing. _“Nicky’s the pretty one.”_ He teased.

Before the joking could continue, there was a knock on the door. _“Daddy? Uncle Misha?”_ Hanna called out. 

Evgeny opened the door and she grinned up at them, skipping in. “Hi, Solnyshka.” Alex said, picking her up and hugging her tight. “What are you doing?”

“Papa said to come check on you.” She answered. “And I have flowers.” She pointed to the box of boutonnières she’d dropped by the door. 

“Do you want to help us put them on?” Sasha asked. “Your Daddy needs extra help.” 

With Hanna’s help, they were all pinned with boutonnières. Sasha spun her around and she giggled happily. 

Alex checked himself in the mirror again before turning to her. “Do I look ok?” He asked. 

She nodded. “You look...nice. I like your bow.” 

“How is your papa?” 

Hanna wrinkled her nose. “He keeps playing with my hair. Babu told him not to.” Hanna’s wild curls had been tamed into braids by Tatiana’s patient hands. It made her look older than she was and it made Alex’s stomach twist a bit; whenever he looked at her, he still expected to see a toddler. 

More importantly, if Nicky was playing with Hanna’s hair, it meant he was nervous too. 

“I should go talk to him.” Alex decided. 

Sasha followed, Hanna in his arms. She spoke to him in Russian, and though it wasn’t quite as good as her Swedish yet, it was passable. Alex felt proud to hear her speak his native language. 

Nicky was sitting quietly in the other dressing room, a cup of water in his hands and staring at the wall while Andre focused on doing his hair and Marcus tried to undo it. He straightened up a bit and smiled when Alex came in. “Hey.” 

“Hey. You nervous?” Alex asked. 

“What? No, no, I’m fine.” Nicky said quickly. 

Mike snorted. “Liar.” He said, nudging his foot into Nicky’s 

Nicky gave him a disappointed look. “I’m not nervous about, you know, the wedding part. Just…”

“Just the people part.” Alex finished. Nicky nodded and relaxed. “We can still go get married in Vegas.” He offered. 

Nicky laughed, eyes crinkling. “No, I think this will be fine.”

Kris patted his brother’s shoulders, standing behind him. “It’ll be perfect.” He said reassuringly. Then, changing the subject, “here, let me take a picture of the three of you.” 

Hanna groaned. “More pictures?” She heaved a dramatic sigh and hid her face against Sasha’s shoulder while he gave a delighted smile. 

“She’s really Nicky’s.” He teased. He tickled Hanna’s side. “Go take pictures with them so pictures look better.” 

She giggled and scampered over to her parents, holding her arms up. Nicky picked her up and fidgeted with the end of her braids. “Babu said not to touch.” Hanna reminded him gently. 

Nicky smiled. “I’m sorry, I forgot.” 

“It’s ok.” She said, patting his arm. 

There was a professional photographer floating around somewhere, but Kris took a couple pictures on his phone anyway; Alex suspected it was more to distract Nicky than anything else. Maybe it was for his nerves too. 

Finally, it was time for the ceremony to start. “Last chance to run.” Alex said, kissing Nicky’s cheek. 

Nicky squeezed his hand tight. “I love you.” He said, looking up at him through his lashes. 

“I love you too. Don’t be so nervous.” 

“I know, just, it’s a lot of people.” 

Alex shrugged. “They’re all happy for us. It’s ok.” 

Nicky nodded. “Ok. Ok, let’s do this.” 

The ceremony was simple. The officiant was a woman with short gray hair and an easy confidence. She smiled at the two of them as they stood across from each other and began to speak, her voice clear and strong. “Alexander and Nicklas, Sasha and Nicky, Dad and Papa. Whatever they’re called, it is obvious that they belong together. Today, with all of you as witnesses, we gather here to join them in marriage.” 

When it was Alex’s time to say his vows, his brother handed him Nicky’s ring and he slipped it onto his finger with shaking hands. “Nicky.” He began, taking a breath to calm himself. “You’re my favorite person and my best friend. You always believe in me, always tell me what I need to hear, even if I don’t want to hear it.” The crowd chuckled and Nicky gave an indulgent smile. “You make me the most happy I’ve ever been. I promise to always be here for you, I promise to always listen. I love you more than I know how to say and I’m lucky for you.”

Next, it was Nicky’s turn. 

His hands were clammy and Alex gave him a reassuring smile. “I’m not always good at saying...at saying how I feel. But I’m going to try.” Nicky began quietly, looking down. His cheeks were pink. Alex wanted to skip ahead to the kissing. “When I first met you, I couldn’t understand anything you said but I knew I wanted to be with you. You make me better. You made me a better player and you make me a better person. I love how you care about everyone in your life. I love how excited you are and how you always...always try to see the good things. I feel like we can do anything, if it’s you and me.” 

Alex’s eyes were wet, but he had a feeling he wasn’t the only one. 

The officiant said her piece and then, “You may now share your first kiss as husbands.” 

This, Alex knew how to do; this they had practiced. Nicky had an unsurprising amount of opinions about what constitutes an appropriate kiss when everyone you know is seated and watching. Alex managed to nip at his bottom lip anyhow, leaving Nicky’s cheeks pleasantly flushed. Distantly, he heard a couple happy whoops from somewhere in the crowd. 

Afterwards, the photographer corralled them outside into the gardens for pictures. After nearly an hour, Nicky was exhausted from it. “Can you ask if she’s done?” He asked, sitting on a low wall. 

Alex squeezed his shoulder and leaned over to kiss the top of his head. (Their photographer captured the moment and it ended up being one of Alex’s favorite photos). 

“You done?” He asked. 

“I want food.” Nicky said, managing to smile. The photographer was taking pictures of the wedding party, including the assortment of children, most of whom were only too happy to pose for a camera. 

“Ok. I tell her you’re gonna get grumpy.” Alex teased. Nicky raised his eyebrows, but didn’t argue the point. 

Mike ambled over to join them, Hanna in his arms. “Hey, this thing is cranky.” He said, laughing as he turned Hanna around so they could see her frowning face. “Is this where we put the cranky ones?”

“Not cranky.” Hanna grumbled. Mike set her down and she climbed up into Nicky’s lap. “I don’t like pictures.”

“Why?” Alex asked. 

“Cause I don’t like being so still.” She looked up. “And she keeps telling me not to get my dress dirty but I just want to play.” She lamented. 

Tatiana, because she was a genius, had advised them to bpck a change of clothes for Hanna and Alex had, never questioning his mother’s advice. There was a pond in the garden and it looked too tempting for a young child to avoid. 

Nicky smoothed a hand over her hair. “You ready to go change and then eat?” He asked. 

Hanna contemplated it. “We can have cake?”

Nicky’s mouth twisted in a smile. “After you have dinner, yeah.” 

Hanna pouted. “When I get married, cake will be dinner.” She said, crossing her arms. 

“I’m looking forward to it.” Nicky agreed mildly, standing. 

Hanna was changed into a romper, her hair was freed from their braids, and she ran out of the changing room barefoot. She paused at the door. “Can I eat with uncle Sasha?” She asked. 

Sasha Semin has only met Hanna a couple times, but she loved him. Alex said it was because Sasha was a big kid too. “Sure.” Alex said. “Make sure he eats his veggies.” He teased. 

The wedding party ate together at a large round table, because the idea of them all at a long table on display had not appealed to Nicky. Honestly, it hadn’t appealed to Alex either; it was too much like being on exhibit. 

Hanna sat between Sasha and Andre, the three of them giggling and whispering amongst themselves. Nicky was chatting with Mike beside him and Evgeny and Alex took it all in. He squeezed Nicky’s hand and the blond smiled at him and leaned over to kiss his cheek. 

“I love you.” He said quietly. 

“I love you too.” 

After dinner, they cut the cake as everyone watched. Hanna was standing by excitedly, ready to finally get dessert. 

Nicky looked at Alex, cake in hand, and smiled sweetly at him before smashing the slice into his face. Alex tried to duck away, but Nicky managed to smear it across his nose and cheek. Alex laughed, catching him with an arm around the waist and kissing him, rubbing his face against Nicky’s. 

Nicky was still smiling when he pulled away, eyes twinkling. “Brat.” Alex said, chuckling. 

Nicky tried to look innocent as he turned to the side. “Hanna, do you want cake?” 

Sweet, naive Hanna nodded excitedly and didn’t realize it was a trap until Nicky picked her up and kissed her, getting cake and icing on her cheek. Alex did the same to the other side. 

Undeterred, she swiped it off with her finger and popped it in her mouth. “It tastes good.” She declared. 

Nicky threw his head back with laughter. 

After cake had been distributed, they each shared a dance with their mothers. Tatiana smiled at Alex as they danced. _“I’m so happy for you.”_ She said. _“You’ve been smiling all day.”_

Alex nodded. _“Nicky makes me smile.”_

_“You make him smile too. I used to worry about him. He was so quiet.”_ Tatiana looked over at Nicky and Catrin. _“Have his parents…are they doing ok?”_

_“I think so. He hasn’t said.”_

She hummed. _“Ok, good. I hope they are happy for you both.”_ She hugged him, resting her face against his chest while they swayed back and forth. _“I’m so proud of you.”_

 _“Thank you.”_ Alex whispered. 

It was nearly 10pm when Nicky sidled up alongside Alex at the bar, Hanna asleep against his chest and her limbs dangling like a rag doll. “She said she’s not tired.” Nicky said fondly. 

“M’not.” She protested, barely opening her eyes. 

Alex leaned over and kissed her forehead before gently gathering her up in his arms and holding her.

“Daddy…” she whined. “Tell Papa I’m not tired.” The whole thing was ruined by a big yawn and Alex shushed her, rocking side to side. 

“Maybe you’re not tired, but Babu and Dedushka are.” He teased. “You go keep them company?”

“Can’t I stay with you?” She asked. 

Nicky shook his head. “You’re going to spend the night with your grandparents. School starts in a few days, you can’t stay up too late.” He explained. 

“But…” she yawned again. “But I wanna eat more cake.” 

Nicky smiled at her, tender and loving. “I know. Tomorrow we’ll do something fun.” 

“Promise?” She mumbled. 

“Promise.” Alex said, nuzzling his nose against her head. 

They said good-bye to his parents and Nicky’s as the crowd began to thin a bit. After that, they decided to test the limits of the open bar. 

Mike started passing Nicky shots, winking at Alex over his shoulder. Alex took a few himself, but Alex was...well, Alex was Russian and Nicky didn’t drink often, especially not shots. 

Nicky slid a hand across Alex’s ass, with the subtlety of a thunderclap. “You look good in a tux.” He said, leaning close to whisper in Alex’s ear. 

“Yeah?” Alex wrapped an arm around him, kissing his cheek. 

“You look better out of it.” Nicky said, grinning like a loon at his own joke.

God, Alex loved Drunk Nicky, he thought as he passed him another drink. 

Someone, probably Tom, produced a deck of cards and Sasha explained the rules to a complex drinking game. He’d explained it twice, once in Russian and then in English, and Alex wasn’t sure, but he thought he’d said different things each time. Judging by the delighted look on Evgeny’s face as he leaned back to watch, that might’ve been intentional. 

Alex payed attention enough to drink when it was his turn, but it was hard to focus when Nicky’s hand was resting high on his thigh. 

Nicky wasn’t good at drinking games and he never had been. Mike cut him off halfway through, handing him a bottle of water. 

“I’m fine.” Nicky protested. 

Mike raised his eyebrows. “You suck at this game.” He said plainly. 

“Sasha’s-“ He hiccuped. “Sasha’s cheating. He changed- hic- he changed the rules.” He slurred a bit. 

Sasha looked at Nicky consideringly. “You learn Russian?”

 _“Fuck you, I learn a long time ago.”_ Nicky said, in Russian, which caused uproarious laughter from Alex, Evgeny, and Mikhael.

Sasha shook his head. _“Drink your water, Nicky.”_

Nicky slouched into Alex’s side, fingers tracing the inseam of his pants absentmindedly, though Alex didn’t believe for a second that he didn’t know what he was doing. 

Nicky mumbled something and got up, leaving the table and disappearing in the direction of the bathroom. Alex waited a bit and then went to go check on him. 

Nicky was washing his hands, cheeks flushed from the booze. “You ok?” Alex asked, leaning against the bathroom door. 

“Uh huh.” Nicky nodded, frowning when the automatic dispenser wouldn’t give him a towel. Alex waved his hand in front of it and it dispensed properly. “Thanks.” 

“No problem.” He studied Nicky. “You sure you’re ok?”

“Pretty drunk.” He admitted, looking up at Alex through his lashes. 

Alex chuckled. “You took lots of shots.” He pointed out, hands coming to rest on his hips. “Not 21 anymore.” 

“God, I know.” Nicky giggled. “We use to drink-“ He hiccuped again. “A lot.” He looked up at Alex with glassy green eyes and a pink face, his lips wet from his tongue running over them. He wasn’t 21 anymore; there were soft crinkles around his eyes and faint scars from games passed. At 21, Nicky had had a baby face and bleached hair. Alex ran his fingers through his hair and Nicky’s eyes slipped closed. 

Alex kissed him without thinking about it. 

Nicky moaned and melted against his chest, his fingers pressing in against his hips to keep himself balanced. “Finally.” Nicky whispered. 

Alex sunk his teeth into his bottom lip and tugged at his hair. Nicky managed to get a hand underneath Alex’s shirt, stroking over the bare skin underneath. Even with alcohol flowing through his blood, Alex got hard embarrassingly fast. Well, it would be embarrassing if Nicky wasn’t right there with him, panting and desperate. 

They didn’t talk as they clumsily undid each other’s pants. Even drunk, Nicky’s hand-eye coordination was passable. Alex was on the edge by the time Nicky dropped to his knees in front of him, swallowing him down easily. 

Alex covered his mouth to keep quiet as he felt his cock hit the back of Nicky’s throat. He tightened his grip on Nicky’s hair and thrust into his mouth a few more times before he came. 

Nicky swallowed around him, but a bit of cum still dribbled down his chin. Alex tugged him up and pressed him against the door, kissing the taste of himself out of Nicky’s mouth. 

The blond was pliant, not fussing as Alex shoved a hand down the front of his pants and jacked him off. Nicky nearly fell when he came, letting Alex take some of his weight and hold him up. Alex pet his hair, whispering to him softly. “Fuck, Nicky…fuck, I love you.” He kissed him and Nicky blinked at him languidly, almost entirely boneless. 

“I love you too.” He said between kisses. He looked up into Alex’s eyes and then broke down into a fit of giggles. “We just...in a bathroom. It’s our wedding night. Isn’t it- hic- isn’t it supposed to be...romantic?”

“There’s a candle.” Alex said, trying to keep from laughing. 

Nicky looked over and frowned sternly. “That’s an air freshener.” He decided, shoulders jerking as he hiccuped again. “I don’t think that counts.”

“Close enough.” Alex said, kissing him again while Nicky giggled. 

They washed up before returning to the party. Sasha gave Alex a knowing look and came to lean against the wall beside him while Andre whisked Nicky away for a second round of cake. _“You couldn’t wait?”_

 _“Who says I couldn’t?”_ Alex smirked. 

Sasha rolled his eyes. _“Your bow tie is crooked again.”_ He adjusted it carefully. _“You know, I thought Nicky would be a good influence on you. But, I guess I was wrong.”_ He teased. 

Alex slung an arm around his shoulders and Sasha leaned against his side easily. _“I know, I’m the bad one.”_

 _“Nicky’s the bad one and we didn’t catch on in time.”_ Sasha snorted, the two of them watching as Andre and Nicky playfully fought on the other side of the room. Nicky was broader, but Andre wasn’t absolutely plastered, so it was fairly even. Plus, Nicky tended to pass out after sex. 

_“That too.”_ Alex chuckled. 

_“You two are so happy together...it makes me glad.”_ Sasha said, keeping his voice low. _“I worried about you after the engagement fell through.”_ That felt like it had been a lifetime ago. 

_“Yeah.”_ Alex nodded. 

_“Does Nicky know about all of that?”_

_“He knows. He...he had bad luck before too.”_ He said, purposefully vague. Just because it had been years didn’t mean anyone else needed to know. Across the room, Mike had joined the scrum, pinning Nicky’s arms behind his back so Andre could steal his phone back. 

“Ah.” Sasha nodded. _“It’s good you have each other then.”_

 _“Really good.”_ Alex agreed. 

Sasha turned towards the bar. _“More drinks?”_ He offered, not waiting for an answer. 

By the end of the night, Alex and Nicky were herded into the back of Andre’s car. Evgeny was driving and Nicky was sacked out against Alex’s shoulder before they even left the street.

They spent Saturday hungover at the beach with Kris, his wife Sofia, and their kids. Hanna and her cousins raced up and down the beach, playing in the surf, while Alex drank water and wished he had darker sunglasses.

Hanna started school the next week. She was excited, until the night before. “Do I have to go to a new school?” She asked. 

“Yeah.” Nicky said, smoothing a hand over her hair. “You do. Ellie is going. Leni goes there too, but she’s a bit older.” 

Hanna clutched her stuffed animal close to her chest. “I have to go all day?” 

“It’s just as long as your old school.” Nicky explained, settling down beside her. She snuggled up against her, kissing the top of her head. “You’ll have lots of fun.” 

“An’...an’ you and daddy will come pick me up?” 

“Yes.” Nicky promised. “We’ll come pick you up.” 

“Can I sleep with you?” She asked. Nicky looked at Alex and Alex could tell the blond wanted to say yes. Alex nodded and Hanna smiled wide. “Thank you!” 

Alex would be lying if he said he slept better with Hanna in bed with them; if Nicky was an octopus, Hanna was a starfish. But, he still loved it, even if he did wake up to a foot in the middle of his back. 

In the morning, Alex woke up with less bed space than he would’ve liked, but Hanna was hugging his arm and Nicky had her pulled to his chest like she was his teddy bear. He managed to take a picture before either of them stirred. 

Hanna blinked up at him and tried to wriggle free. “I can’t go to school, I’m trapped.” She whispered. 

“Very funny.” Nicky mumbled, half asleep. “You wanted to sleep in here.”

“I didn’t wanna be squished.” 

Nicky cracked an eye open to look at her. “You ready for school? I bet Ellie is excited to see you.” 

“Yeah...I guess.” She frowned. “Will you come get me early?” 

“Not today. You’ll be having too much fun.” Alex said, tickling her. She giggled and tried to pull away. “What you want to wear? C’mon, let’s go see.”

Hanna decided on a tutu, tights, and a Washington Capitals t-shirt. None of it matched, but Alex didn’t care. She looked perfect to him. “You wearing your Papa’s number?” Alex asked, looking at her back.

Instead, she was wearing Andre’s number. “I didn’t want to pick.” She said, biting her lip. “I can’t wear your number and papa’s number, that’s too many shirts.” 

Alex bit back a smile. “That is too many.” He knelt down in front of her. “How about you wear papa’s shirt today, since it’s your name too? That way no one forgets your name.”

Hanna mulled it over, looking thoughtful. “But I want to be yours too.” She said quietly. 

Alex hugged her tight. “Always mine.” He promised. 

He heard footsteps behind him. “What about a new shirt?” Nicky offered, surprising them both. He held out a bag and Hanna took it, opening it and holding up the shirt within. 

“That’s an 8, that’s Daddy’s number.” She said. 

Alex’s throat already felt tight and Nicky squeezed his shoulder. “What about here?” He pointed to the name.

“That says Backstrom!” Her eyes were wide. “That’s me.” 

“What do you think? You want to wear this?” Nicky asked. “You don’t have too.”

“No, I want to.” She said, hugging the shirt to her chest. She scampered back into her closet to change. 

Nicky looked at Alex. “You ok?” He asked. 

Alex nodded, drying his eyes on his sleeve. “Ok. You gonna be ok for first day of school?” 

“I think I’m more nervous than she is.” Nicky admitted quietly. 

Hanna burst out of the closet with a dramatic flourish. “Tadaa! Do you like it? I love it!” She hugged Nicky tight when he picked her up, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Alex drove to the school and they parked down the street so they could walk her to her classroom. Hanna walked between them, holding both their hands and giggling when they swung her off the ground. 

“Hey, guys.” TJ said, Leni on his shoulders and Lyla holding Lauren’s hand. “Hanna, are you excited for school?” 

Hanna nodded. “Yeah! Do you see my new shirt?” 

TJ gave it a once over. “Oh, that’s very nice. I like that a lot.” He knelt down down in front of her, looking very serious. “Your parents said you have Ms. Duncan for your teacher. Did you know her room is right across from Leni’s room?” 

Hanna shook her head. 

“Well, it is.” He smiled at her. “So, if you need anything, she’s right there. You’ll be nice, won’t you Leni?”

Leni giggled. “I’m always nice.” She said, dimples in her cheeks. “Ms. Duncan is my favorite teacher. She has lots of pretty pictures in her room.” 

TJ nodded. “We liked Ms. Duncan too, she was great.” He said, standing back up. “Here, let me take a picture of you guys.” He offered, phone already in hand. He snapped a photo of the three of them on the steps of the school and sent it to Alex and Nicky.

Hanna’s cheerful nature dissolved as they reached the classroom and it was filled with other students and their parents. She hung back, leaning against Alex’s legs. 

“Can we go home now?” She asked quietly. 

Nicky shook his head. “Let’s find your cubby. Can you find your name?”

“Papa…” she whined. 

Nicky picked her up, running his hand over her curls. “I know it’s a lot of people.” He said quietly. “But they don’t look too scary. If you go home, Ellie will miss you.” 

She hugged him tight and pressed her face to his neck. “You’ll come pick me up?” 

“We’ll come pick you up.” He promised. “Look, who’s that?” He turned so she could see Ellie as she entered with her mom. 

“Ellie!” Hanna squirmed out of Nicky’s arms and ran to hug her friend. “Do you want to sit together?”The girls’ cubbies were close and they were already distracted and chatting as they put their bags away.

Ellie’s mom, Claire, smiled. “I’m so glad Hanna’s in this class too. Ellie was so nervous about school starting.” 

“Hanna was too.” Alex agreed. “Good for them to be together, I think.” 

Hanna hugged Nicky and Alex tight. “I love you.” She said to both of them. 

“I love you too.” Nicky said. 

“I love you.” Alex repeated. 

Hanna squeezed their hands and then, after a moment, held her hands up in the air, just like she did at games. Nicky kissed his hand and pressed it to hers and Alex did the same. She grinned at them. 

Nicky tried to smooth out her hair one more time and she ducked away, laughing. “Bye, Papa. Bye, Daddy.” She said, grabbing Ellie’s hand and tugging her towards the array of toys, all of which were way too tempting for 5 year olds. 

Claire smiled at them warmly. “My oldest, Joey, he was totally fine. Not nervous at all. I cried the whole way home.” She admitted. 

Nicky laughed, rubbing at his eyes and looking down. “Yeah. She’s...she’s growing up really fast.” 

Claire nodded. “I know.” They chatted with Claire on their way to the front of the school, where TJ and Lauren were standing talking with a couple parents. 

TJ grabbed Nicky’s arm as he walked by. “Hey, you want to get some food? We won’t make fun of you if you cry, I swear.” He said, jovial as always. 

Lauren rolled her eyes. “TJ cried like a baby when on Lyla’s first day.” She explained. “He has no room to tease anyone.” 

Nicky looked at Alex. “I could eat.” He shrugged, voice soft. 

Alex nodded. “Sure.” He agreed. 

Nicky was still quiet when they reached the car. “You ok?” Alex asked. 

Nicky managed a watery smile. “Just...thinking.” 

“Worried?” Alex asked knowingly. 

“Yeah.” Nicky settled into the passenger seat. “And...she’s growing up so fast.” 

“She is.” Alex agreed, holding his hand. “But she’s so smart and so brave, because of you.”

“And you.” Nicky said, looking up with wet eyes. “You’ve been here since- since she was born.” His voice cracked. “We’re lucky to have you.” 

Alex felt a lump rise in his throat. “We’re pretty good at this, yeah?” He joked; if he didn’t try to laugh, he’d probably start crying.

“Yeah.” Nicky agreed. “You and me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: if you read this whole series, you could’ve read A Tale of Two Cities, because that’s actually shorter. 
> 
> But thank you for reading this instead! :)


End file.
